For myself, I can say this: that when I looked around at the mass of men—five thousand strong I have since heard—, and saw them wrangling over this trifling matter or that, openly disputing some command, or boldly leaving an assigned position to take up one which pleased them better, I had more fear of what might come to us through the cowardice or ignorance of our own people, than regarding the ability of the enemy to cut us up.
Darius made his preparations for the conflict by stuffing a huge piece of tobacco into his mouth, after which he proceeded to read us a lecture on behavior while under fire.
"Remember this," he said with the air of one who knows it all, "it isn't every bullet that finds its billet, an' the toughest time is just now, when we're waitin' for what all hands know is bound to come. Think of the folks at Benedict, an' kind'er figger out what they'd say if you went home after showin' yourselves cowards under fire. There are worse things than bein' killed or wounded in battle, an' the hardest is to live knowin' every youngster on the street has the right to call you a white-livered sneak what ran away when danger came. Stand here behind Joshua Barney, for I warrant he won't give you a chance to get in front of him, an' you'll be doin' about right."
When the old man had come to an end of his instructions, we would have conversed among ourselves, speaking much, no doubt, of the folks at home; but he sternly bade us hold our tongues, thinking that we would not be heartened by such talk, and straightway began to tell us a yarn of how he and Bill Jepson had fought under Commodore Barney, when the enemy was a ship of thirty-two guns, and they in a schooner carrying only twelve 10-pounders.
The yarn had not yet come to an end when a commotion among the men in front of us caused me to crane my neck to look in the direction many were pointing, and there I saw the lines of red marching directly toward us in perfect order, as if on parade.
At almost the same moment the enemy began to throw rockets among our people, and these, exploding, hurled bullets' in every direction.
Within two minutes from the time I first saw the Britishers, no less than five men near me were stricken down, and the sight of the gaping wounds, together with the moans of the sufferers, gave me a sensation of faintness which was well-nigh overpowering.
"Stand steady you lads from the Avenger!" Darius cried sharply, warned, no doubt, by the sight of our pale faces that we were growing sick in more ways than one. "Somebody must get hurt, else the battle would never be over, an' we're here to spoil the Britishers' fun, which we shall do mighty soon. Joshua Barney is only waitin' for the proper time, an' when he gives the word to begin work, there'll be a change of tune."
At that moment, and before a gun had been fired, the militiamen in front of us broke into a run toward the rear, many of them throwing down their muskets as they took part in a most disgraceful retreat.
For the credit of our flotillamen, and the marines, I must set it down that not one of them wavered when the retreat was begun, and after the last of the cowards was in the rear I heard the commodore shout: