As during the first portion of the engagement, I was burning with the fever of battle, and had so little knowledge of what was being done that I could not have said whether one hour or ten had elapsed since the action was begun. It seemed to me as if we had been half an ordinary lifetime at this business, and I had stood so long beneath the shadow of the death angel's wings that I took it for granted I should be numbered with the slain when the conflict ceased, but gave no heed to such possibility.
Phil and I knew vaguely, because of the dreadful slaughter which followed, when the frigate's bow payed off while Captain Porter was trying to beach her, and we came to realize dimly—as though it was something which did not concern us personally—that we were being so badly cut to pieces as to make it certain our people must finally yield to the enemy; but above all was the one thought, a single desire, to do as much damage as possible to the Britishers before our ship went down.
Then, when we were in position where we could fire a broadside, we began to cheer once more, believing that after all our disadvantages we might compel the foe to retire; but our hearts did not sink, perhaps because we were too much excited to realize it, when the hawser of the sheet anchor parted, leaving us once again where we could be raked.
When the ship was on fire we ran to the spar-deck, yet fighting the flames, and neither Phil nor I knew until afterward that permission had been given the men to leap overboard and save themselves.
We would not have deserted the ship, however, because both of us were following Master Hackett very closely; it seemed much as though he had become a part of us, and we could do nothing save by his side or under his direction.
Why we three, when all those brave hearts were sent into eternity on that 28th day of March, should have escaped a wound I am unable to say; it must have been, as my mother said, that God was not yet ready to receive us into that portion of his kingdom that had been allotted us.
The old man took us lads by the hand when finally Captain Porter gave orders that the colors be hauled down in token of surrender, and there we stood as if unable to move or speak, when the Britishers came on board.
The living were allowed to bury the dead; the wounded were taken on shore, and then we were, with many others, sent on board the Cherub, where we were by no means badly treated. More than one Britisher on board that ship was ashamed, as I myself heard them say, at our having been attacked while disabled, and nearly all did whatsoever they might to ease the burden of grief and disappointment.