He sat down thus politely indicating the end of the audience. Here, on his desk, I noticed one of the last numbers of the "L'Illustration" with a large picture of himself on it, which he was studying while I was waiting for his interview.
How easy I feel! Left to my own affairs, to my own business, all to my very own self! Thank God! I never felt this way before.
And our national Tartarin of Tarrascon—at his desk in the palace, with his people, always meeting polite and covetous eyes,—will continue his hard work. Under every smile and every bow, he will see—up to the grave, the veiled appreciation: "By God, what a small thing you are." On the pages of history his name will forever remain and look like the trace of a malicious and sick fly.
17.
How glad I am that Maroossia went away! I feel more at ease though the housekeeping is up to me.
There was more shooting and more of revolution, than heretofore, during all of these days,—one more evidence that the building of the new state is in full progress. Of course,—these days brought Kerensky as high up as he only can go. Next will be his precipitated downfall,—much speedier than his elevation. Why do the Allies make this mistake of letting a worm like Kerensky endanger the cause—it is a mystery … though "there are no mysteries in this plainest of planets."
Nahkamkes and Trotzky—found! and in jail, for the moment being,—perhaps like the Baroness, or even easier! But the man, the real German hound of Petrograd, Monsieur Ulianov-Lenin,—could not be found. Could not be found is true. He has not been looked for, as any ass knows where he is. They send him meals from Félicien, or Ernest.
Away from here! I must be going as soon as I get the things straightened.
Have wired to Maroossia that I am still alive, otherwise she is liable to appear again. Elisabeth wrote a letter from Moscow and said that "here—everybody is well and things look satisfactory. Food supplies in abundance. All active in building up the state." Is she sick? Who is building the state? We destroy.
They speak of putting the Emperor in jail,—the St. Peter and Paul Fortress. On the other hand Polenov was told that Kerensky won't tolerate any abuse to "private citizens." How about other private citizens?