His lordship to others can pleasure impart,
It’s well known when e’er he an argument start,
He begins it with freedom and ends it with ease;
For whit and good sense when united must please.
All meet him with pleasure and reluctant retire,
For his elegant language most people admire.
What adds to the pleasure or joys of the day,
He always endeavour to pass it away
In a manner that constant improvement is found,
For his argument’s just—and his reason is sound.
My judgment at times is put to the test,
To form an opinion which of them is best,
His head or his heart—yet I’ve understood,
Those who know him declare they are both of them good.
His conduct, thro’ life, this assertion makes true—
His country’s welfare he keeps full in view.
Tho’ surrounded by those that are foes to the State,
Undaunted and fearless he dares to relate,
Whatever he views to promote a reform;
I hope he’ll be able to weather the storm.
He is fit for a pilot, old England to steer,
When troubles annoy us or danger is near;
By prudence directed a vessel is found
To arrive at her port without getting aground.
As matters are managed we founder or sink,
Unless the times alter, most people now think.
If a farmer can’t live, can a tradesman do well?
Ask those in our city if goods they do sell,
At a price they obtained only three years ago,
If you ask them the question they’ll answer you no.
They stand in their shops with their hands at their back,
Which plainly foretel you their orders are slack;
Whereas, often follows, that slackness I say,
And the creditors find very little to pay.
They envied the farmers fine horses and gigs,
And used for to say they were running fine rigs.
A shopkeeper often long credit could gain,
And when things were brisk did a profit obtain;
Now corn selleth low, he dispose at prime cost;
Or what is still worse, a large sum is lost
On his stock—for the farmer no orders can give;
When that is the case the tradesman can’t live.
If you go to a draper and ten pounds him pay,
Will he ask you to drink before going away?
I answer that question and answer it no,—
Try but the scheme you will find it is so.
If you go to a farmer he seldom decline,
To invite you to drink or with him to dine.
I mention’d I think about Southwold best salt,
It reminds me of one that’s a dealer in malt.
I dare say he is a man of some wealth,
I judge from his manner he’s out-grown himself.
If haughtiness—consequence to a man bring,
This dealer in malt is as great as a King.
The papers display’d his great share of wit,
If scurrility ever an opponent can hit.
His arrows so blunted I’m told were all found,
His ill tim’d remarks soon fell to the ground,
He wanted to do the malt tax away,
By aid of the papers he’d something to say
On that subject, but foul and so gross his pen,
It only foretold as what sort of a man.
His friends all declared he had said quite enough,
And some whisper’d gently ’twas very poor stuff.
I remember the time when a new cut was made,
By aid of the barrow, the shovel and spade.
How this great man of science his time pass’d away
Was in seeing no workman did loiter or play,
If they play’d but a minute he’d kick up a dust,
Determin’d their tools not a moment should rust;
The job being finish’d it’s merits to view,
A stone was put up and attention it drew.
It was said that the new cut was made in a year,
And finished when he so ill filled a chair.
That was not the case, ere the chair he did fill,
The job was near finished, let him say what he will,
And he that deserved most our city’s thanks,
For the speedy improvement was Alderman H---s,
As a man that at all times well merit applause,
A man who impartial administer laws,
A Magistrate just, by no party is swayed;
In peril or danger was never afraid.
He acts with strict justice, her dictates pursue,
And fearless who may his past conduct review,
Unlike to the man who would gain all the fame,
That justly belongs to another man’s name,
This wonderful man with most wonderful pride,
Should look into Mason, who wrote the self guide:
To reading, when young, he’d no time to attend,
Like a cobler that’s busied with old shoes to mend.
A stranger to ball rooms, a stranger to plays,
Was forc’d to work hard in his more youthful days
But now in amusements he mix with the crowd,
You might plainly discern him, the thing is so proud
He is Vanity’s child, that can have no pretence,
To think himself clever or gifted with sense.
I stated the clergy would half-a-crown grutch,
Except they were sure it was good for the church;
I mean there are some that to avarice give way,
And too much at times do her precepts obey.
Respect to the clergy at all times is due,
And many I know keep our welfare in view:
So good an example our lov’d Bishop maintain,
As induce his large flock many times to refrain
From committing an action unjust or severe,
Least an unwelcome tale should be told in his ear.
Where tithes are too heavy for farmers to pay,
It induce them from church to be often away,
Their sentiments these can I hear a man preach,
Who do not by his conduct this good sentence teach,
To do unto others as he would be done by.
When friendship is needful don’t that boon deny,
Many clergy are forc’d three time in a day,
To attend at three churches, short must be his stay;
When that is the case the sermon so short,
The gospel to others very badly is taught;
So hurried they are, that it force them to pray,
In a manner you cannot hear half what they say:
Many villages shew the truth I now state,
And too many witness the fact I relate
Our duty as men to religion we owe,
The strictest attention and not outward show;
Every clergyman ought to have Sir I declare,
At least to support him two hundred a year;
And every man much his duty neglect,
Who admits at all times to pay them due respect;
At the same time a duty they owe to the nation,
To act at all times as becometh their station;
By example and precept most strictly to prove,
They preach the true Gospel sent us from above;
Not only preach it but act in a way
As denote God’s commands they most strictly obey.
In my youthful days ’twas ne’er thought a treat,
When farmers most truly did each other meet;
’Twas the custom to drink till you could drink no more,
Ere you left your neighbour’s old fashion’d door;
And when to our market they weekly did roam,
Was sure to get tipsy ere they return’d home.
Now their manners are alter’d most steady come back,
With an ardent desire to peruse Mr. Mack;
On what he advances on the culture of land,
Most Yeomen can read and can well understand.
Refin’d are their manners, with judgment survey
Such books as by chance may fall in their way;
Book Clubs assist them the mind to refine,
Such proper support they do not decline.
The females well copy, it’s daily their rule
To get further improvement when taken from school.
Miss can chat with the curate or country squire,
Most ladies these gentlemen greatly admire.
No sooner the curate a living obtain,
Then his visits renew Sir, again and again.
Although he has taken a tenth from the land,
Miss seems not inclin’d to refuse him her hand;
No longer exclaims against exactions of tithe,
A shilling advance much her spirits revive.
I dare say care little if ruin’d the town,
So she fly to the ball room or buy a new gown;
If we wish the sweet creatures should us caress,
Is to feed them with money and let them have dress
A Piano Forte will lost love regain,
In return they will play in a beautiful strain.
Old as I am, when the dear creatures play,
I’m very unwilling to hasten away.
Music they say charms the beasts in the field,
No wonder then men to such pleasures must yield.
To take a gay lass and make her your wife,
To guard off the baliffs or ward off keen strife.
He ought to have more then five hundred a year,
As a dowry at least with the delicate fair,
Some items I will in this page just put down:
Two pounds for a cap and five pounds for a gown.
Brussels lace he must purchase his wife for to please
Or else I am sure she her husband would tease.
Perhaps when he wishes to take a snug nap,
He must take her a ride to purchase a cap;
For one to her fancy she’s seen at the play,
To have one just like it she cannot delay.
I mention these things, each lover to guard,
Least he after marriage find times go hard,
The worst of all troubles in this fleeting life,
Is what many know, an extravagant wife.
Too many are ruined by allowing I say
Extravagant ladies too much for to sway;
Curb her desires—if to folly is prone;
If prudent, give way, and let her alone.
To please and be pleas’d take pains and delight,
A delicate converse the ladies invite;
They’ll listen with pleasure to what you may say;
If rough and uncouth go from you away.
Lord Chesterfield well the young farmer should read
If he means with the ladies at times to succeed.
He may flatter a little, yet always take care
It do not like flattery ever appear.
A compliment paid with judgement and ease,
No doubt with the ladies is sure for to please.
Immodest discourse will ever offend
A man of good sense if he is prudent’s friend
A lady of sense disgusted will be
With the fop that is vain or maketh too free.
This maxim I give to a youth of nineteen;
In society low he should never be seen.
If he is inclin’d to gain honour and wealth,
He must sort out those youths who equal himself.
If he e’er descend to converse with the low,
It’s sure his low breeding at all times to show,
A hint I’ll now give to the talkative maid,
To pay due attention to whatever is said:
I mean if sweet prudence the subject maintain;
When that is the case she attends not in vain.
If a lover speaks lightly of religions sweet guide,
Such a man she should scorn with contempt & pride;
He wants her chaste thoughts to be taking away,
And only intend to induce her to stray
From such wholesome advice as parents may give,
’Twould divest her of pleasure as long as she live.
Religion at all times true modesty grace,
A sweet modest blush enlivens her face,
For virtue will ever obtain her respect,
And cause real friendship her not to neglect.
But now to return to young men once again;
Their forward discourse oft’s attended with pain.
To answer such gugaws is wasting the day,
Or only I say throwing good time away.
Public meetings at all times improveth the mind,
In them we may often good orators find;
To prove my assertion it clearly appear,
That sir is the case when lord Albemarl’s there,
You may learn from his lordship to ensure a cause,
He seldom sir fail in obtaining applause;
For good sense and sound doctrine he early display;
Or invite you to wish he would much longer stay
With the party he meets for he’s wit at will,
His lordship I heard on the old Castle Hill.
His opponet he hit with skill, Sir, so hard,
As put the said placeman quite off of his guard.
FINIS.