TWO SCAPEGRACE POPES (A.D. 956).
In 956 Pope John XII. was elected at the age of eighteen, and was a monster of iniquity. He was accused and convicted in a council of simony, perjury, fornication, adultery, sacrilege, murder, incest, blasphemy, atheism, and was deposed for these exploits. But he recovered his see and deposed the Pope who had been appointed in his room. His real name was Octavianus, but he took that of John XII., and was the first Pope who introduced the custom of assuming a new name. His end was suitable to his behaviour; for being one night caught in a scandalous act, he received a blow on the head from an unknown hand which killed him. About the same time Theophilus had, at the age of sixteen, been made Patriarch of Constantinople, and was such another as John XII. He openly sold bishoprics and all ecclesiastical offices. He loved hunting and horses even to madness. He kept two thousand, and fed them with all sorts of dainties. On a Holy Thursday as he was at Mass word was brought to him in church that his favourite mare had foaled. He instantly left in the middle of the church service to pay her a visit, and then came back to make an end of the service. He introduced the custom of dancing in the church on holy days, with indecent gestures and accompanied with comic ballads.
THE UGLIEST OF MEN MADE AN ARCHBISHOP (A.D. 1012).
It is reported by Matthew of Westminster that, in 1012, the Emperor Henry II. went out one Sunday to hunt, and his companions being all dispersed, he lost himself near the edge of a wood where there was a church, into which he went, and stating falsely that he was a soldier, asked the priest in a simple manner to give him the Mass. The priest, named Hubert, was a man eminent for his piety, but so ugly in his person that he seemed rather a monster than a man. And when the Emperor had carefully looked at him, he began greatly to marvel why God, from whom all beautiful things proceed, allowed so unsightly a man to celebrate His Sacraments. But presently the Mass was commenced, and they came to that part of the service in which a boy chanted, “Be ye sure that the Lord He is God.” And the priest, reproving the boy for his negligence in singing, said with a loud voice, “It is He that hath made us, and not we ourselves,” at which words the Emperor was much struck, and thinking the priest a prophet, raised him, in spite of great opposition, to the Archbishopric of Cologne. And when he had received the archbishopric, he adorned that see by his religion and worthy course of life. It happened that out of a monastery of nuns in that city a beautiful damsel was captured by a wealthy young noble and made his wife. The archbishop reclaimed her; but a second time she was carried off, and he excommunicated both. When the archbishop was on his deathbed, the young man sent a messenger to ask absolution, which the archbishop refused, unless the young man agreed to leave the woman. This being refused, the archbishop foretold his own death, and also that the young man would be called to his account on the same day and hour in the following year. And, strange to say, both of them were struck with lightning and died at that very time.
A BISHOP’S AND EMPEROR’S JOKES (A.D. 1020).
Meinwerc, appointed Bishop of Paderborn in 1009, had occasionally his joke with the Emperor Henry II. On one occasion Henry sent the bishop after vespers his own golden cup of exquisite workmanship full of good liquor, charging the messenger not to come away without the cup. The bishop received the present with many thanks, and after a long chat the messenger left the cup behind him. The bishop, noticing the cup, immediately sent for his goldsmiths, and had the cup converted into a chalice, and used it next day, which was Christmas. One of the Emperor’s chaplains, who officiated at Mass that day, recognised the cup and took it to the Emperor, who charged the bishop with theft, telling him that God abhorred robbery for burnt offering. The bishop replied that all he had done was only to rob the vanity and avarice of Henry by consecrating the cup to the service of God, and dared Henry to take it away. “I will not,” said the Emperor, “take away that which has been devoted to the service of God, but I will myself humbly offer to Him that which is my own property; and do you honour the Lord, who vouchsafed us on this night to be born for the salvation of all men, by the performance of your own duties.”
KING CANUTE REBUKING THE SEA (A.D. 1030).
According to Matthew of Westminster, as King Canute, who died in 1035, was flourishing and magnificent in the kingdom of England which he had acquired by his bravery, he one day ordered his royal chair to be placed on the seashore, and then mounting, he sat down in it, and said in a threatening voice, “You are under my dominion, O sea, and the land on which I sit is mine, nor is there any one in it who can dare with impunity to resist my authority. I now command you not to come upon my land, nor to presume to wet my royal vestments.” But as wave after wave rose up and disregarded his injunctions, and without any respect wetted the feet and legs of the King, he waited till it was almost too late to leap from his chair, and said, “Let all the inhabitants of the world know that the power of kings is vain and frivolous, and that no one is worthy of the name of king except Him in obedience to whose nod the heaven and earth and sea and all that is in them are subject to eternal laws.” And from that time forth the King never wore his crown, but he always placed it on the head of the image of his crucified Master, and so gave a great example of humility to all future kings. He was buried at Winchester in the old monastery with all royal honour. Other historians relate that Canute sat on the shore of the river Thames at Westminster on the occasion referred to.
A KING DESCRIBING HIS VISIT TO THE POPE (A.D. 1031).
Canute, King of England and Denmark, in 1031 paid a visit to Rome, and wrote a long letter to the English archbishop and bishops, describing the honours paid to him. He said: “I have lately been to Rome to pray for the redemption of my sins and the salvation of my people. I had long since made a vow to do this. At Easter a great assembly of princes was present with Pope John and the Emperor Conrad, and all received me with honour and presented me with magnificent gifts. But more especially was I honoured by the Emperor with various gifts and offerings in gold and silver vessels, with palls and exceedingly costly garments. I spoke with the Emperor himself, and with our lord the Pope, and with the princes who were there, respecting the necessities of my people and their better security on their journeys to Rome, and their claim to freedom from harassing barriers and exactions. All the princes declared and assured me this should be attended to. I also complained to our lord the Pope that my archbishops were oppressed by the immense sums demanded from them on receiving the pall, and it was decreed that this should never again occur. All the princes willingly granted and confirmed their concessions by oaths, and with the attestation of four archbishops and twenty bishops and a numberless crowd of dukes and noblemen who were then present. I have humbly vowed to the Almighty God to reform my life in all things, justly and piously to govern my kingdom and the people who are subject to me. I call to witness and command my councillors to allow no injustice to be practised in any portion of my kingdom.”