"Chairmen, as they are a kind of human nags, ought to amble without-side the posts as well as other brutes.
"It is needless for ladies of a certain cast to patrole the streets at noon-day with a bundle in one hand, as they carry an evident sign of their profession in their eye.
"Long swords are a nuisance in the City at Change-time, as the wearer may very well receive a bill without that dangerous weapon; and as it is not often he comes into it to pay one.
"Churches are no places to sleep in, because, if a person snores too loud, he not only disturbs the congregation, but is apt to ruffle the preacher's temper.
"Barbers and Chimney-sweepers have no right by charter to rub against a person well-dressed, and then offer him satisfaction by single combat.
"Splashing a gentleman with white silk stockings designedly is a breach of decency, and utterly unknown at Wapping or Hockley in the Hole.
"That reading these hints and not endeavouring to redress them, will be a fault somewhere, but not in
Crispin."
The whimsical manner in which the above customs are reprehended, was fairly matched by the following notice from the Publick Advertiser, issued in downright serious earnest.
"To the Inhabitants of the Parish of St. Faith.