Applebee's Original Weekly Journal for November 19, 1726, has the following curious article, which fills another niche in our Pantheon of Eccentrics: "For the entertainment of our brother dumplineers, we shall inform them of a curiosity contrived for their accommodation at the Sun Tavern in St. Paul's Church-yard; which is the invention of Mr. Johnston, the master of the house; being a larder erected in the middle of his yard, which stands upon four pedestals, in a perfect round twelve feet in circumference, in the lower part whereof is three round shelves with cylindrical doors to open and shut; the same is covered with a curious slab of black and white marble three feet in diameter, and a direct circular figure, from whence the four pedestals are carried up, between each of which are two sliding sashes with convex glasses: the four pillars are adorned with curious iron-work and other ornaments, as well for beauty as use, and a shelf runs round the inside for containing proper provent for the stomach. In the midst hangs a crown of iron painted and gilt, and the top rises into a dome twelve feet in height, in the same manner as that of St. Paul's, which is leaded over with four round or port holes covered with wire for the conveniency of admitting the air and
keeping out the flies. On the top of the dome is a globe, upon which sits Bacchus astride upon a tun, to signify his Godship is willing to lay a good foundation, that he may be the better able to contain his liquor; on his head is the Sun dispersing his rays; from the four sides are four sliding shelves which draw out for the accommodation of such dumplineers as desire to drink their wine at the fountain-head, or next the cellar door. The whole is neatly painted and gilt."
There is sometimes a degree of eccentricity blended with revenge; an instance of which occurred in 1727. The pastor of the parish of St. Andrew Undershaft had differed with a female of his flock to a very violent degree; in consequence, the lady renounced his spiritual governance while living, and solemnly declared her corpse should not receive the rites of burial from his lips when dead. This resolution was communicated by the executors to the undertaker, who provided a Clergyman to officiate at the funeral. As the Priest of the parish had notice of this strange proceeding, he determined to prevent the intruded Priest from performing the ceremony; but the latter, equally tenacious, insisted on his right, in compliance with the lady's will. A violent dispute succeeded, which terminated by both parties reading the burial service.
After this shameful scene of impiety, the Parish Priest retired to the Vestry-room, and enquired
of the Clerk whether he had provided him a ticket for hat-bands and gloves, as usual. The Clerk replying in a surly manner that he had not, the Priest wreaked dire vengeance on his body by a thorough beating[414:A]. In short the offending Clerk by his
Ecclesiastick
Was beat with fist instead of a stick.
The St. James's Evening Post of January 1728 mentions a nameless oddity, who kept open house in his own way during the holidays at a Tavern near St. James's-market: "He treats all the company that comes, provided they appear fit for a gentleman to keep company with; pays his reckoning twice a day, and thinks no expence too great that their eating and drinking can put him to. He never quits his room, or changes his linen. The house has already received some hundreds of pounds from him, and is likely to receive many more, if his constitution can but do its duty. He proposes to hold it for three months; and it is said, this is not the first time he has done so."
Abraham Simmonds, a tobacconist, who retired to enjoy a handsome independence at Lewisham, died in 1728. His widow and executrix found, to her utter dismay, upon opening his will, that he had directed his body to be buried
in his own orchard, wrapped in a blanket, without any of the usual religious ceremonies; and that his favourite dog after his natural decease should be deposited in the same grave. The lady seems to have been a sagacious wife, and a good hand at a quibble. She strictly complied with the eccentric wishes of Mr. Simmonds; but, as that gentleman neglected to say his body must remain in the Orchard, she had it conveyed into a handsome coffin, and thence to the church-yard, where the Parish Priest performed the burial rites.