THE MONIMENT

You know them envys thet the Rebbles sent,
An' Cap'n Wilkes he borried o' the Trent?

THE BRIDGE

Wut! they ha'n't hanged 'em?
Then their wits is gone!
Thet's the sure way to make a goose a swan!

THE MONIMENT

No: England she would hev 'em, Fee, Faw, Fum!
(Ez though she hedn't fools enough to home,)
So they've returned 'em—

THE BRIDGE

Hev they? Wal, by heaven, Thet's the wust news I've heerd sence Seventy-seven! By George, I meant to say, though I declare It's 'most enough to make a deacon swear. 90

THE MONIMENT

Now don't go off half-cock: folks never gains
By usin' pepper-sarse instid o' brains.
Come, neighbor, you don't understan'—