Tin. The ante-room!
The best room in your house! You do not know
The use of Richard Cricket! Show him, sir,
Into the drawing-room. Your lordship needs
Must keep a racing stud, and you’ll do well
To make a friend of Richard Cricket. Well, sir:
What’s that?
[Enter Williams.]
Will. So please your lordship, a petition.
Tin. Hadst not a service ’mongst the Hottentots
Ere thou camest hither, friend? Present thy lord
With a petition! At mechanics’ doors,
At tradesmen’s, shopkeepers’, and merchants’ only,
Have such things leave to knock! Make thy lord’s gate
A wicket to a workhouse! Let us see it—
Subscriptions to a book of poetry!
Cornelius Tense, M.A.
Which means he construes Greek and Latin, works
Problems in mathematics, can chop logic,
And is a conjurer in philosophy,
Both natural and moral.—Pshaw! a man
Whom nobody, that is anybody, knows!
Who, think you, follows him? Why, an M.D.,
An F.R.S., an F.AS., and then
A D.D., Doctor of Divinity,
Ushering in an LL.D., which means
Doctor of Laws—their harmony, no doubt,
The difference of their trades! There’s nothing here
But languages, and sciences, and arts.
Not an iota of nobility!
We cannot give our names. Take back the paper,
And tell the bearer there’s no answer for him:—
That is the lordly way of saying “No.”
But, talking of subscriptions, here is one
To which your lordship may affix your name.
Roch. Pray, who’s the object?
Tin. A most worthy man!
A man of singular deserts; a man
In serving whom your lordship will serve me,—
Signor Cantata.
Roch. He’s a friend of yours?
Tin. Oh, no, I know him not! I’ve not that pleasure.
But Lady Dangle knows him; she’s his friend,
He will oblige us with a set of concerts,
Six concerts to the set.—The set, three guineas.
Your lordship will subscribe?
Roch. Oh, by all means.
Tin. How many sets of tickets? Two at least.
You’ll like to take a friend? I’ll set you down
Six guineas to Signor Cantata’s concerts,
And now, my Lord, we’ll to him; then we’ll walk.