GRANDMA PERKINS AND THE SPACE PIRATES
By JAMES McCONNELL
Raven-haired, seductive Darling Toujours'
smoke-and-flame eyes kindled sparks in hearts
all over the universe. But it took sweet old
Grandma Perkins, of the pirate ship Dirty
Shame, to set the Jupiter moons on fire.
[Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from
Planet Stories March 1954.
Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that
the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.]
"I can always get along with a man if he remembers who he is," said Darling Toujours, the raven-haired, creamy-skinned televideo actress whose smoke-and-flame eyes lit fires in hearts all over the solar system. She was credited with being the most beautiful woman alive and there were few who dared to contradict her when she mentioned it.
"And I can always get along with a woman if she remembers who I am," replied Carlton E. Carlton, the acid-tongued author whose biting novels had won him universal fame. He leaned his thin, bony body back into the comfort of an overstuffed chair and favored the actress with a wicked smile.
The two of them were sitting in the finest lounge of the luxury space ship Kismet, enjoying postprandial cocktails with Captain Homer Fogarty, the Kismet's rotund commanding officer. The Kismet was blasting through space at close to the speed of light, bound from Callisto, one of Jupiter's moons, back to Earth. But none of the two hundred Earthbound passengers were conscious of the speed at all.