"Nippin' Nebulae," said another.
"It ain't Darling Toujours at all!" cried Lamps.
"It ain't even no woman!" cried Snake.
"I beg your pardon," said Grandma, and quite nonchalantly shed the rest of the suit and sat down in a comfortable chair. "I am Mrs. Matilda Perkins."
When he could recover his powers of speech, Lamps sputtered, "I think you owe us a sort of an explanation, lady. If you know what I mean."
"Certainly. I know exactly what you mean. It's all quite simple. When I overheard that you intended to board the Kismet, searching for only one person, I decided that one person had to be Darling Toujours. I guessed right off that she was the only one on board worth kidnapping and holding for ransom, so I simply let you believe that I was she and you took me. That's easy to understand, isn't it?"
"Lady, I don't know what your game is, but it better be good. Now, just why did you do this to us?" Lamps was restraining himself nobly.
"You never would have gotten inside the Kismet without my assistance. And even if you had, you'd never have gotten back out alive.
"Captain Fogarty's men would have cut you to ribbons. So I opened the hatch to let you in, planted myself in the way, and you got out with me before they could muster their defenses. So, you see, I saved your lives."
Grandma Perkins paused in her narrative and looked up at her audience, giving them a withered little smile. "And if you want to know why, well ... I was bored on the Kismet, and I thought how nice it would be to run away and join a gang of cutthroat pirates."