Grandma pretended to yawn. "I wouldn't advise your landing on Earth without me. Or landing anywhere, for that matter. You know, Stellar Transportation signed a contract with me guaranteeing that I wouldn't be put off the ship against my will and promising to deliver me to Earth this trip. If I'm not aboard when you land, that contract is broken and so is STAR'S monopoly. So you go right ahead without me. I figure I could make about a million dollars off the law suit myself if you do."
Captain Fogarty exploded. "I ... I ..." he stammered, then turned away from the screen. Grandma could hear a hasty conversation between him and the Kismet's legal officer. In a moment he returned to the screen, a broad but very forced grin on his face. "Why, Mrs. Perkins, we wouldn't think of landing without you. Please tell Commodore Trumble that we'll be waiting for you."
"But I just might not feel like coming, Captain," Grandma said demurely.
"Tell Commodore Trumble I said he had to bring you back immediately!" blustered Fogarty. "And I hope he wrings those pirates' necks!"
Grandma put on her most pained expression. But to Lamps, Snake and the rest of the men still standing in awe, it was obvious that she was enjoying every minute of it.
"I don't think Commodore Trumble has much to say about it. You see, the pirates captured him and the entire crew of the Faultless just before he called you. So the pirates would be the ones who'd have to bring me back. And I'm sure they wouldn't do that unless they were sure I'd be well taken care of."
"I don't believe it!" cried Fogarty. "Trumble, say it isn't so!"
There came a slight sputtering on the circuit. "Well, Fogarty, I ... well ... that is, I—"
"Oh, no," moaned Fogarty.