“‘I did all I could to avoid the conviction that anything was required of me; and I thought that by freely speaking of it to all, I should perform my duty, and that God would raise up the necessary instrumentality for the accomplishment of the work. I prayed that some minister might see the truth, and devote himself to its promulgation; but still it was impressed upon me, Go and tell it to the world; their blood will I require at thy hand. The more I presented it in conversation, the more dissatisfied I felt with myself for withholding it from the public. I tried to excuse myself to the Lord for not going out and proclaiming it to the world. I told the Lord that I was not used to public speaking; that I had not the necessary qualifications to gain the attention of an audience; that I was very diffident, and feared to go before the world; that they would “not believe me nor hearken to my voice;” that I was “slow of speech, and of a slow tongue.” But I could get no relief.’
“In this way he struggled on for nine years longer, pursuing the study of the Bible, doing all he could to present the nearness of Christ’s coming to those whom circumstances threw in his way; but resisting his impressions of duty to go out as a public teacher. He was then fifty years old, and it seemed impossible for him to surmount the obstacles which lay in his path, to successfully present it in a public manner.
“His freedom to converse on the subject, and the ability with which he was able to defend his own views, and oppose those differing from him, had given him no little celebrity in his denomination in all that region; and some were rather shy in approaching him. Elder T. Hendryx, a Baptist clergyman, now in the State of Pennsylvania, who has kindly furnished the biographer with many original letters from Mr. Miller, thus speaks of his first acquaintance with him:—
“‘My first acquaintance with Bro. Miller was in the summer of 1831. I had been requested to visit the Baptist church in Hampton, and concluded to go. When about to start, I was informed by a brother in the church of which I was a member, in Salem, N. Y., that there was a brother in the Hampton church, possessing considerable influence, who had many curious notions on doctrinal points, and on the prophecies—particularly on the latter; and also (to use the brother’s language) that he was “hard on ministers who differed with him.” Having recently commenced preaching, without much confidence in my own ability, and not having made any engagement to the church, I at first almost concluded not to go. On further reflection, I decided to go, and put my trust in Him who had said, “Lo, I am with you alway.” On my way I endeavored, by prayer and meditation, to divest myself of all prejudice against his peculiar notions, whatever they might be (for as yet I was ignorant of them), and at the same time to fortify myself against being led into error by him.
“‘I arrived at Bro. Miller’s on the 6th of July, 1831. You may well suppose that my situation was not very enviable. I moved tremblingly and with the utmost caution. In spite of me, I could not act like myself; and it was not till I had been there nearly a week, and preached several discourses, that I could feel at home, or enjoy my wonted freedom in preaching the word. Several other ministering brethren visited at Bro. M.’s during my stay there, and I found that I was not altogether alone in those feelings. But how perfectly groundless those fears! Instead of pouncing upon my errors like the tiger, no brother ever dealt with me more tenderly, or exhibited a better spirit in presenting his views.
“‘After being with Bro. M. some time, he asked me my views on the millennium. Having thrown off all reserve, I readily gave them. I had embraced the old view—the world’s conversion a thousand years before the advent; and answered him accordingly. His reply was: “Well, Bro. H., prove it! You know I want the Bible for all that I receive.” “Well,” said I; and, taking my Bible, I turned to the 20th of Revelation, and was about to read, when I thought I would examine it again, and with very close attention. I was in a deep study. Bro. M. was waiting, and watching me closely. He began to smile. “Why don’t you read, Bro. H.?” said he. I was astonished; for I could not make it out. At last I said: “I go home next Monday. I will draw the passages off, and hand them to you when I return.” I took some four days for it, and gave him a long list of passages. He read them, and said: “Bro. H., what has become of your old theory? This is mine.” “Well,” said I, “it is mine, too.” In my examination, my theory had been overturned, and I came out where I now stand.
“‘One thing I observed in Bro. M.’s character; If he ever dealt harshly with a brother for holding an error, it was because he saw, or thought he saw, a spirit of self-importance in him.’
“The labors of Elder Hendryx were attended with a blessing, as appears from a letter of Mr. Miller’s to him, dated August 9, 1831. In it he says:—
“‘The Lord is pouring out his Spirit among us, but not in so powerful a manner as I could wish. Baptism has been administered every Sabbath but one since you were here. Two or three have obtained hope every week.’
“As Mr. Miller’s opinions respecting the nearness and nature of the millennium became known, they naturally elicited a good deal of comment among his friends and neighbors, and also among those at a distance. Some of their remarks, not the most complimentary to his sanity, would occasionally be repeated to him.