"You must excuse me for writing to you for I dont know any one in England. I know the names of no lawyers, and thought I would write to you. We have seen it in our paper several times of money being left to the —— heirs, and heard that a Lawyer of London made a flying visit to St Louis to find the heirs, but failed. My father was born and raised in —— England. His name was —— the oldest son of three. My parents died shortly after we came to America, and I was quite small. I know but little about any of them. I remember hearing my Father say that he had rich relatives who intended to make him their heir. I am very poor; lost everything during the war. If you know of some lawyer who will see to it without money as I have none to invest. Please answer to tell me what you think you can do for me."
"As I have no correspondent in London at present I adopt this plan of procuring one that I can transact business through—the matter I wish to call your attention to is this—To the estate of —— and the heirs. The papers were sent here once but have been lost. —— died in London about 45 years ago and left a large estate of which my client's interest would be about seventy-five thousand dollars at the time of his death—Will you please inform me what it is necessary for us to do in the matter in full."
"United States.
"Will you do me the kind favour, as you are the Postmaster and able to know, as I judge of. It is this, give to me the full name and address of any 'Mac——' that you know of in England, or in Scotland, or Ireland, or Wales, or in India, or at or in any other country that you may know of, with their full names and correct address, so that I can write to them myself.
"If you have any list, or book, or pamphlet, with the names of parties who have died, and left money or land to their heirs at law, as I want such information," &c.
A farmer in the country wants a postmaster to act as go-between in a little business matter, and pens him a few lines to the following effect:—
"John —— acting as Farmer here would be very much obliged to the postmaster if he would be so good as to name a suitable party at —— to whom he might sell a 30 stone pig of good quality well—for he understands it is the best place to sell. The pig is now quite ready for killing."
A sharp fellow in Tennessee, anxious to become rich by a short cut, wants an instrument to hunt gold and silver, and forthwith applies to the Post-office:—
"I want you to do me a kines, to hand this (letter) to some good watch maker and tell him to see if I can by a instrument to tell where gold or silver is in the ground or if there is a instrument maid to find mettel—gold or silver—that are in the ground. If it will attrack it. A instrument for that perpos. I understand there are sutch a thing made. If so, be pleas tell me where I can by one and what it will cost me. It can be sent to New York to —— where I can get it. I want to get a instrument to hunt gold & silver. You will pleas write to me as I think if there are sutch a thing maid I could get one in your country. I send you a stamp."
A stranger in the country expresses his readiness to reward the Postmaster-General with some partridges if he will get some one to send him a parcel of mithridate mustard:—