Letters to a Young Housekeeper

by Jane Prince

Perhaps we have had such easy lives ourselves that we have to go back to our childhood to remember the delicious sense of freedom from restraint when school was out, in order to form some idea of the pleasure a maid feels on her “afternoon” when she leaves all duties behind her and gets beyond the sound of the bell. As a well-trained maid, she always has to go about the house noiselessly, never raising her voice in speaking unless spoken to. Perhaps she doesn’t like the other maids and longs for some congenial friend and to talk and laugh unrestrainedly. Is it surprising that she forgets that she doesn’t have to pay her board and lodging as the girls do who are otherwise employed than in domestic service, and that she only thinks of their greater freedom? She naturally longs for that freedom and for some time that she can surely call her own.

If any trouble crops up with this new maid, don’t (because you are so sorry that you let the other one go) offer her higher wages or urge her to stay. It will give you backbone to remember that she will be useless if she stays while dissatisfied and also that offering her higher wages when you are paying enough is only a bribe and simply makes her feel more essential to you than she really is. It wouldn’t remove the cause of her dissatisfaction but only delay its coming to the surface again. Sometimes by a quiet talk you can find out what the trouble is and if the complaint is reasonable you can remove the cause.

A case in point is an experience that I myself once had when there was dissatisfaction among some servants whom I really liked. It was after I had, with a great deal of trouble and study, tried to arrange all their afternoons and evenings out and their Sundays to be, as I thought, convenient for myself and comfortable for them. I was indignant at first at what seemed ingratitude and felt ready to dismiss them all. But, on sober thought, the idea occurred to me of trying to get at the bottom of the trouble by calling them all together and letting each one in turn tell me what was her cause of discontent. At the same time I told them all that, while I might not be able to do what they wanted, still, as my only thought in arranging their outings was to give them rest and have them enjoy themselves, I was ready to consider making some changes so long as they would not interfere with the proper and regular running of the household. It seemed quite a new idea to them that their mistress was really interested in their pleasure. They were nice women and with the prospect of a sympathetic hearing, their antagonism seemed to pass away.

To my surprise I found that it was not more outings that they wanted (in fact they proposed fewer), but to be away from the house longer at a time. I promised them nothing at the moment because I feared that I should say something unwise, but impressed it upon them that they would have to work together and help one another if they wanted these changes. This conversation resulted in my arranging a programme that was satisfactory to them and perfectly convenient to me, and one that I have not had to change for years.

It may help you very much to find out what I learned from this conversation, so here it is. The first point was that servants need their regular outings to be longer than they usually are, because it takes them so much longer than it does us to get dressed and to reach the more remote parts of the town where they usually go. This seemed to me reasonable as I thought over the work of the different servants. Instead of just putting on her hat and coat as we do, a maid has to change everything to make herself neat and fresh to go to church or shopping or to visit her friends. If she has the ordinary two hours’ leave, in most cases she would have to turn around to come back almost as soon as she reaches her destination. If she goes to church we know the service will not be out till after twelve-thirty or even later; so that in order to return in time to set the table by one o’clock, she must leave the church instantly without a moment’s chat with her friends. The waitress cannot get her breakfast things finished before ten o’clock in many households and with the common habit of irregular Sunday breakfasts generally it will be much later. With the chambermaid the situation is probably worse if there are a number of rooms to make up, and it seems almost impossible for the cook to get to morning church unless some special arrangement is made for her.

The second point was that servants would like to be able to count on an absolutely certain, specified time to leave the house and to return, both on Sundays and week-days. This they cannot do if some of the family stay in bed very late, if there is an invalid in the house, or if there are extra people at the Sunday lunch, unless the mistress makes a very definite plan for the servants to relieve one another, so that their free time of going out or to church will not be interfered with and the regular work will still go on.

The third and last point that I can remember is that most servants really do not care to go out so frequently, but that, on the contrary, they would sometimes rather stay at home on their day out if they could be sure of the time to themselves and that they would not be called on for work.

These three points are always carefully conceded to them in hotels, and consequently hotel service is much desired by maids, as housekeepers in small towns find to their great inconvenience.

This experience of mine may let light into your situation and give you a basis for a good programme. In working it out it is necessary to be careful not to make things comfortable for the servants at the expense of the family. As the two points of making the outing longer and starting at regular hours can only be accomplished by one servant taking the duty of the other in her absence, it is important to impress on their minds at the outset that these duties must be performed so well that the household will not be inconvenienced. Since it is a fair exchange, maids are usually contented to do this, and it is the duty of the mistress to train them and to see that each servant carries out the idea, doing her fair share of the work. Where there is more than one servant, these outings can easily be arranged, even with a family of irregular habits, so that they all will be able to get off promptly and stay out long enough, without any inconvenience to the household. In the case where there is only one maid, who does the cooking and all the work of the house, the household is, of necessity, run more informally, and a chafing-dish meal can take the place of one of the Sunday meals in order to let her off. But if the mistress feels that she must have her meals go on just as regularly on Sunday as any other day, she should hire some one to come in for the time the servant is out. You can readily see that she should not expect one servant to keep up the house unaided in just the way that two or three servants do it.

I have heard nice women say, “I have only one servant, so of course I can’t let her go out.” This is really cruel, though not intentionally so, because, if the maid has all the work to do, she needs a complete and regular rest all the more. The mistress should look upon the money paid to some one for taking her place as one of the regular necessary household expenses.