The shrewd woman brought Loony John a dozen old sausages and carefully wrapped them up. He paid for them on the spot, and then, forgetting his first misfortune—the wind and the hail—he returned home singing.
Loony John grew older as the days went by. A beard appeared on his face. He even took to himself a wife; but he still remained Loony John.
One day, when the sun was shining brightly, he dressed himself in his new suit of clothes, put on his best hat and gloves, and went to the fair in the neighboring village. He enjoyed himself, and created a great deal of amusement for others by his queer blunders. In the afternoon the thought occurred to him that his wife would be expecting him at home, and so he started to return.
Unfortunately, a shower came up, just as he was crossing a bridge. Big drops of rain were falling on all sides. In a little while his fine hat, his new clothes, and his gloves that he was so proud of would be ruined.
"Goodness gracious!" cried Loony John, "if I suffer myself to get wet like this I shall be called a simpleton indeed, and my friends will have good cause to laugh at me. What shall I do?"
Suddenly he shouted for joy. A wonderful idea had struck him.
"I will throw myself in the river!" he exclaimed. "Once in the water, it will be impossible for the rain to wet my clothes."
No sooner said than done. Into the water jumped Loony John. He couldn't swim and so he was drowned. The next day the miller found the body in the water. He drew it out, and Loony John was buried with great pomp. On his tombstone was an inscription in Latin, which, being interpreted, reads:
Here Lies
loony john
who
Jumped Into the Water
to keep
From Getting Wet.