And thus Sir John Dering, sitting between old Penelope Haryott the witch, and Mr. George Potter the guileless, drank smuggled tea out of smuggled china, talked and listened, asked questions and answered them, and enjoyed it all uncommonly well.
CHAPTER XVI
DESCRIBES A SCANDALOUS ITEM OF FASHIONABLE INTELLIGENCE AND THE CONSEQUENCES THEREOF
“The Barrasdaile” was back in town and all the beaux of Mayfair were agog, and forthwith hasted to give her welcome. They came by coach, in sedan chairs, on horseback and afoot; battered beaux wise in wine and women, sprightly beaux wise in town gossip and the latest mode, youthful beaux wise in nothing as yet; but one and all they gathered from every point of the compass and clad in all the colours of the spectrum, passioning for her wealth, eager for her rank, allured by her youth, or smitten by her beauty, agreeable to their own respective ages and conditions; they came to flourish hats gracefully, shoot ruffles languidly, flutter handkerchiefs daintily, tap snuff-boxes dreamily, to stare, ogle, smile, frown, sigh and languish, each according to his nature. And chief amongst these, my Lord Sayle, more completely assured of himself than usual, if it were possible; and this by reason that His Majesty (so gossip had it) was about to reinstate him in the royal favour and make him Lord-Lieutenant of his county besides, on condition that he put down the damnable practice of smuggling in his neighbourhood. Be this as it may, it was an indisputable fact (rumour was positive on this point) that His Majesty had received him, deigned him a nod, and chattered at him in German, whereupon other gentlemen immediately bowed to him, renewed acquaintance and congratulated him in English. Thus my Lord Sayle found himself in very excellent spirits.
Now upon the very morning of my Lady Barrasdaile’s so triumphant return, it befell that The Satyric Spy, or Polite Monitor, most scandalous and (consequently) most carefully perused of journals, came out with the following items of fashionable intelligence:
Lady H——a B——e, whose sudden and inexplicable desertion so lately made of Mayfair a dreary waste, hath been seen driving post for Paris. Paris doubtless awaited her with yearning expectation, but yearned vainly. For, upon the highway this bewitching she (mirabile dictu) vanished utterly away. Paris received her not, Dieppe knew her not! Whither she vanished, by what means, to what end, at what precise minute of the day or night, or precisely where this astounding disappearance took place, these be questions answerable but by her bewitching self.
But
It is furthermore credibly reported that Sir J——n D——g, whose triumphs in the Paphian Fields have made him notorious and the envy of lesser humans not so fortunate, left Paris abruptly two or three days ago, and hath been observed in company with a pretty serving-maid, a buxom waiting-wench whose humble situation in life is completely off-set by the potency of her peerless charms. Sir J——n D——g, quick to recognise the goddess despite her homespun, is become her very devoted slave and adorer. It is thought that he may carry her eventually London-wards to out-rival the unrivalled Barrasdaile.
Nota Bene: He that runs may read! Who seeth through a brick wall cannot be blind. Yet whoso addeth two and two and maketh of them five must be a bad arithmetician. Verl. Sap.