In what view did it occur to him to seek this conference? in what view to make the attempt? and in what view delay it?
1. As to his view in seeking it,—it must be left to inference:—to conjecture, grounded on circumstances.
2. Being engaged, as he was, in the plan of making converts to a religion, called by him the religion of Jesus,—and this among the nations at large—among others besides those in the bosom of whose religion the founder of the new religion had been born;—feeling, as it seemed to him, the need, of information in various shapes—concerning the acts and sayings of Jesus;—not having, for the purpose, had, as yet, access, to any of the persons, to whom the benefit, of an interview with Jesus, upon terms of peculiar confidence, had been imparted;—he was desirous, of taking this—his only course—for rectifying the misconception, under which, to no small extent, he must probably have been labouring,—and filling up the deficiencies, under which he could not but be labouring.
3. Obvious is the need he had, of countenance from these universally acknowledged chiefs, of the religion professed to be taught by him.
Good, says some one: but, having, from the first, been thus long labouring, under the need of information,—how happened it, that he so long delayed, the exertions he made at length, for the obtaining of it?
The answer is surely not unobvious.
Had the time, of his presenting-himself, been when the memory of his conversion was fresh,—when the memory, of the vision, by which it was to be stated as having been effected, would, supposing it really experienced, have been fresh also,—in such case, the narrative, true or untrue, would have found, opposed to its reception, all imaginable repugnance, in so many ulcerated minds: and, on the supposition of its being untrue, he—the supposed percipient and actually narrating witness—he, who knew nothing about the subject of his testimony, would have had to submit himself to the severest imaginable cross-examination, at the hands of those, to whom everything about Jesus was matter of perfect knowledge.
Thus the matter would have stood, in the first instance. On the other hand, as time ran on, several results, favourable to his design, would naturally have taken place.
1. The exasperation, produced by the experience of the persecution suffered at his hands, would have been diminished.
2. His own recollection, of the particulars, might be supposed less vivid.