'Lord Foplington a Town Beau, had agreed to Marry the Daughter of Sir. Tun-belly Clumsey a Country Gentleman, who lived Fifty miles from London. Notwithstanding this small distance, the Lord had never seen his Mistress, nor the Knight his Son in Law. Both parties out of their great Wisdom, leave the treating the Match to Coupler. When all the preliminaries of Settlement were adjusted, and Lord Foplington expected by Sir Tun-belly in a few days, Coupler betrays his Trust to Young Fashion. He advises him to go down before his Brother: To Counterfeit his Person, and pretend that the strength of his Inclinations brought him thither before his time, and without his Retinue. And to make him pass upon Sir Tun-belly, Coupler gives him his Letter, which was to be Lord Foplingtons Credential. Young Fashion thus provided, posts down to Sir Tun-belly, is received for Lord Foplington, and by the help of a little Folly and Knavery in the Family, Marries the young Lady without her Fathers Knowledge, and a week before the Appointment.
This is the Main of the Contrivance. The Counterturn in Lord Foplingtons appearing afterwards, and the Support of the main Plot, by Bulls, and Nurses attesting the Marriage, contain's little of Moment. And here we may observe that Lord Foplington has an unlucky Disagreement in his Character; This Misfortune sits hard upon the credibility of the Design. Tis true he was Formal and Fantastick, Smitten with Dress, and Equipage, and it may be vapour'd by his Perfumes But his Behaviour is far from that of an Ideot.p. 27.[405] This being granted, 'tis very unlikely this Lord with his five Thousand pounds per annum, should leave the choise of his Mistress to Coupler, and take her Person and Fortune upon Content. To court thus blindfold, and by Proxy, does not agree with the Method of an Estate, nor the Niceness of a Beau. However the Poet makes him engage Hand over Head, without so much as the sight of her Picture.p. 79.[406] His going down to Sir Tun-belly was as extraordinary as his Courtship. He had never seen this Gentleman. He must know him to be beyond Measure suspicious, and that there was no Admittance without Couplers Letter. This Letter which was, the Key to the Castle, he forgot to take with him, and tells you 'twas stolen by his Brother Tam. And for his part he neither had the Discretion to get another, nor yet to produce that written by him to Sir Tun-belly.Ibid.[407] Had common Sense been consulted upon this Occasion, the Plot had been at an End, and the Play had sunk in the Fourth Act. The Remainder subsists purely upon the strength of Folly, and of Folly altogether improbable, and out of Character. The Salvo of Sir John Friendly's appearing at last, and vouching for Lord Foplington, won't mend the matter. For as the Story informs us, Lord Foplington never depended on this Reserve.p. 81.[408] He knew nothing of this Gentleman being in the Country, nor where he Lived. The truth is, Sir John was left in Town, and the Lord had neither concerted his journey with him, nor engaged his Assistance.p. 83.[409]
Let us now see how Sir. Tun-belly hangs together. This Gentleman the Poet makes a Justice of Peace, and a Deputy Lieutenant, and seats him fifty Miles from London: But by his Character you would take him for one of Hercules's Monsters, or some Gyant in Guy of Warwick. His Behaviour is altogether Romance, and has nothing agreeable to Time, or Country. When Fashion, and Lory, went down, they find the Bridge drawn up, the Gates barr'd, and the Blunderbuss cock'd at the first civil Question. And when Sir Tun-belly had notice of this formidable Appearance, he Sallies out with the Posse of the Family, and marches against a Couple of Strangers with a Life Gaurd of Halberds, Sythes, and Pitchforks. And to make sure work, Young Hoyden is lock'd up at the first approach of the Enemy. Here you have prudence and wariness to the excess of Fable, and Frensy. And yet this mighty man of suspition, trusts Coupler with the Disposal of his only Daughter, and his Estate into the Bargain. And what was this Coupler? Why, a sharper by Character, and little better by Profession. Farther. Lord Foplington and the Knight, are but a days Journey asunder, and yet by their treating by Proxy, and Commission, one would Fancy a dozen Degrees of Latitude betwixt them. And as for Young Fashion, excepting Couplers Letter, he has all imaginable Marks of Imposture upon him. He comes before his Time, and without the Retinue expected, and has nothing of the Air of Lord Foplington's Conversation. When Sir Tun-belly ask'd him, pray where are your Coaches and Servants my Lord? He makes a trifling excuse. Sir, that I might give you and your Fair Daughter a proof how impatient I am to be nearer akin to you, I left my Equipage to follow me, and came away Post, with only one Servant.p. 59.[410] To be in such a Hurry of Inclination for a Person he never saw, is somewhat strange! Besides, 'tis very unlikely Lord Foplington should hazard his Complexion on Horseback, out ride his Figure, and appear a Bridegroom in Deshabille. You may as soon perswade a Peacock out of his Train, as a Beau out of his Equipage; especially upon such an Occasion. Lord Foplington would scarsely speak to his Brother just come a Shore, till the Grand Committee of Taylors, Seamtresses, &c. was dispatch'd.p. 11.[411] Pomp, and Curiosity were this Lords Inclination; why then should he mortifie without necessity, make his first Approaches thus out of Form and present himself to his Mistress at such Disadvantage? And as this is the Character of Lord Foplington, so 'tis reasonable to suppose Sir Tunbelly acquainted with it. An enquiry into the Humour and management of a Son in Law, is very natural and Customary. So that we can't without Violence to Sense, suppose Sir Tunbelly a Stranger to Lord Foplington's Singularities. These Reasons were enough in all Conscience to make Sir Tunbelly suspect a Juggle, and that Fashion was no better then a Counterfeit. Why then was the Credential swallow'd without chewing, why was not Hoyden lock'd up, and a pause made for farther Enquiry? Did this Justice never hear of such a Thing as Knavery, or had he ever greater reason to guard against it? More wary steps might well have been expected from Sir Tunbelly. To run from one extream of Caution, to another of Credulity, is highly improbable. In short, either Lord Foplington and Sir Tunbelly are Fools, or they are not. If they are, where lies the Cunning in over-reaching them? What Conquest can there be without Opposition? If they are not Fools, why does the Poet make them so? Why is their Conduct so gross, so particolour'd, and inconsistent? Take them either way, and the Plot miscarries. The first supposition makes it dull, and the later, incredible. So much for the Plot. I shall now in the
4th. Place touch briefly upon the Manners.
The Manners in the Language of the Stage have a signification somewhat particular. Aristotle and Rapin call them the Causes and Principles of Action. They are formed upon the Diversities of Age, and Sex, of Fortune, Capacity, and Education. The propriety of Manners consists in a Conformity of Practise, and Principle; of Nature, and Behaviour. For the purpose. An old Man must not appear with the Profuseness and Levity of Youth; A Gentleman must not talk like a Clown, nor a Country Girl like a Town Jilt. And when the Characters are feign'd 'tis Horace's Rule to keep them Uniform, and consistent, and agreeable to their first setting out. The Poet must be careful to hold his Persons tight to their Calling and pretentions. He must not shift, and shuffle, their Understandings; Let them skip from Wits to Blockheads, nor from Courtiers to Pedants; On the other hand. If their business is playing the Fool, keep them strictly to their Duty, and never indulge them in fine Sentences. To manage otherwise, is to desert Nature, and makes the Play appear monstrous, and Chimerical. So that instead of an Image of Life, 'tis rather an Image of Impossibility. To apply some of these remarks to the Relapser.
The fine Berinthia, one of the Top-Characters, is impudent and Profane. Lovelace would engage her Secrecy, and bids her Swear. She answers I do.
Lov. By what?
Berinth. By Woman.
Lov. That's Swearing by my Deity, do it by your own, or I shan't believe you.
Berinth. By Man then.p. 47.[412]