'But as he goes on,Chap. 3.[478] some peoples Faith is either too full of Scruples, or too barren of Sense. Nothing will serve to settle them but a plain Text of Scripture. They hover in uncertainty because 'tis not said as expresly thou shalt not go to the Play-House, as 'tis thou shalt not Kill. But this looks more like Fencing than Argument. For we have the Meaning of the prohibition tho' not the sound, in the first Psalm. Blessed is the Man that walks not in the Council of the Ungodly, nor stands in the way of Sinners, nor sits in the Seat of the Scornful.
'The Censors whose business 'twas to take care of Regularity and Manners,Ibid. Cap. 10.[479] look'd on these Play-Houses as no other than Batteries upon Virtue and Sobriety, and for this reason often pull'd them down before they were well built, so that here we can argue from the Precedents of meer Nature, and plead the Heathens against themselves. Upon this view Pompey the Great, when he built his Dramatick Bawdy-House, clapp'd a Chappel a Top on't. He would not let it go under the Name of a Play-House, but conven'd the people to a Solemn Dedication, and called it Venus's Temple; Giving them to understand at the same time that there were Benches under it for Diversion. He was afraid if he had not gone this way to work, The Censors might afterwards have razed the Monument, and branded his Memory. Thus a Scandalous pile of Building was protected: The Temple, cover'd the Play-House, and Discipline was baffled by Superstition. But the Design is notably suited to the Patronage of Bacchus** The Play-houses were dedicated to Bacchus.[480] and Venus. These two Confederate Devils of Lust and Intemperance, do well together. The very Functions of the Players resemble their Protectors, and are instances of Service and Acknowledgment. Their Motion is effeminate, and their Gestures vitious and Significant: And thus they worship the Luxury of one Idoll, and the Lewdness of the other.
'And granting the Regards of Quality, the Advantages of Age, or Temper, may fortifie some People;Ibid. cap. 15.[481] granting Modesty secur'd, and the Diversion as it were refin'd by this Means: Yet a Man must not expect to stand by perfectly unmoved, and impregnable. No body can be pleas'd without Sensible Impressions. Nor can such Perceptions be received without a Train of Passions attending them. These Consequences will be sure to work back upon their Causes, solicite the Fancy, and heighten the Original Pleasure. But if a Man pretends to be a Stoick at Plays, he falls under another Imputation. For where there is no Impression, there can be no Pleasure: And then the Spectator is very much Impertinent, in going where he gets nothing for his Pains. And if this were all; I suppose Christians have something else to do than to ramble about to no purpose.Ibid. cap. 22.[482]
'Even those very Magistrates who abet the Stage, discountenance the Players. They stigmatize their Character, and cramp their Freedoms. The whole Tribe of them is thrown out of all Honour and Privilege. They are neither suffer'd to be Lords, nor Gentlemen: To come within the Senate, or harangue the People, or so much as to be Members of a Common-Council. Now what Caprice and Inconsistency is this! To love what we punish, and lessen those whom we admire! To cry up the Mystery, and censure the practise; For a Man to be as it were eclips'd upon the score of Merit is certainly an odd sort of Justice! True. But the Inference lies stronger another way. What a Confession then is this of an Ill Business; when the very Excellency of it is not without Infamy?
'Since therefore Humane Prudence has thought fit to degrade the Stage, notwithstanding the Divertingness of it. Since Pleasure can't make them an Interest Here, nor shelter them from Censure.Ibid. cap. 23.[483] How will They be able to stand the shock of Divine Justice, and what Reckoning have they Reason to expect Hereafter?
'All things consider'd 'tis no wonder such People should fall under Possession. God knows we have had a sad Example of this already. A certain Woman went to the Play-House, and brought the Devil Home with Her.Ibid. cap. 26.[484] And when the Unclean Spirit was press'd in the Exorcism and ask'd how he durst attack a Christian. I have done nothing (says he) but what I can justify. For I seiz'd her upon my own Ground. Indeed, how many Instances have we of others who have apostatiz'd from God, by this Correspondence with the Devil? What Communion has Light with Darkness? No Man can serve two Masters, nor have Life and Death in him at the same time.
'Will you not then avoid this Seat of Infection?Ibid. cap. 27.[485] The very Air suffers by their Impurities; And they almost Pronounce the Plague. What tho' the performance may be in some measure pretty and entertaining? What tho' Innocence, yes and Virtue too, shines through some part of it? 'Tis not the custom to prepare Poyson unpalatable, nor make up Ratzbane with Rhubarb and Sena. No. To have the Mischief speed, they must oblige the Sense, and make the Dose pleasant. Thus the Devil throws in a Cordial Drop to make the Draught go down; And steals some few Ingredients from the Dispensatory of Heaven. In short, look upon all the engaging Sentences of the Stage; Their flights of Fortitude, and Philosophy, the Loftiness of their Stile, the Musick of the Cadence, and the Finess of the Conduct; Look upon it only I say as Honey dropping from the Bowels of a Toad, or the Bag of a Spider: Let your Health over-rule your Pleasure, and don't die of a little Liquorishness.
'In earnest Christian, our time for Entertainment is not yet:Ibid. cap. 28.[486] you are two craving and ill managed if you are so violent for Delight. And let me tell you, no wiser than you should be, if you count such Things Satisfaction. Some Philosophers placed their Happiness in bare Tranquillity. Easiness of Thought, and Absence of Pain, was all they aim'd at. But this it seems won't Satisfie Thee. Thou liest sighing and hankering after the Play-house. Prethee recollect thy self: Thou knowest Death ought to be our Pleasure, And therefore I hope Life may be a little without it. Are not our Desires the same with the Apostles, To be Dissolv'd and to be with Christ. Let us act up to our pretentions, and let Pleasure be true to Inclination.
'But if you can't wait for Delight; if you must be put into present Possession, wee'l cast the Cause upon that Issue.Ibid. cap. 29.[487] Now were you not unreasonable, you would perceive the Liberalities of Providence, and find your self almost in the midst of Satisfaction. For what can be more transporting than the Friendship of Heaven, and the Discovery of Truth, than the Sense of our Mistakes, and the Pardon of our Sins? What greater Pleasure can there be, than to scorn being Pleas'd? To contemn the World? And to be a Slave to Nothing? 'Tis a mighty satisfaction I take it, to have a clear Conscience;
To make Life no Burthen, nor Death any Terror! To trample upon the Pagan Deities; To batter Principalities and Powers, and force the Devils to Resign!** By Exorcisms[488] These are the Delights, these are the noble Entertainments of Christians: And besides the advantage of the Quality, they are always at hand, and cost us nothing.'