Fanny and the Servant Problem

by Jerome K. Jerome

THE ELDER MISS WETHERELL. Yes, dear.

FANNY. I wish you’d send him up. [At door—calls after them] Hope you’ll all enjoy yourselves!

VERNON [from the distance]. I shall put you on a fiver.

FANNY. Mind it wins. [She listens a moment—closes door, comes back to desk, and takes a Bradshaw.] Five-six-three—five-six-three. [Finds page.] St. Pancras, eight o’clock. Oh, Lord! Stamford, 10.45. Leave Stamford—[Ernest has entered.] Is that you, Ernest?

ERNEST. Yes.

FANNY. Shut the door. Sure it went off last night, that telegram?

ERNEST. Yes.

FANNY. If he doesn’t catch that eight o’clock, he can’t get here till nearly four. That will be awkward. [To Ernest] What time is it now?

ERNEST [looks at clock]. Twenty past eleven.

FANNY. If he does, he’ll be here about twelve—I believe I’ll go and meet him. Could I get out without being seen?