The Observations of Henry / Illustrated

by Jerome K. Jerome

I sat with my eyes coming out of my head till she was close to me, and then I says:

“Carrots!” I says, in a whisper like. That was the name that come to me.

“'Carrots' it is,” she says, and down she sits just opposite to me, and then she laughs.

I could not speak, I could not move, I was that took aback, and the more frightened I looked the more she laughed till “Kipper” comes into the room. There was nothing ghostly about him. I never see a man look more as if he had backed the winner.

[Original]

“Why, it's 'Enery,” he says; and he gives me a slap on the back, as knocks the life into me again.

“I heard you was dead,” I says, still staring at her. “I read it in the paper—'death of the Marchioness of Appleford.'”

“That's all right,” she says. “The Marchioness of Appleford is as dead as a door-nail, and a good job too. Mrs. Captain Kit's my name, nee 'Carrots.'”