“It’s that whisky,” said Ethelbertha. “You never touch it except when we go to the Harris’s. You know you can’t stand it; you have not a strong head.”
“It isn’t the whisky,” I replied; “it’s deeper than that. I fancy it’s more mental than bodily.”
“You’ve been reading those criticisms again,” said Ethelbertha, more sympathetically; “why don’t you take my advice and put them on the fire?”
“And it isn’t the criticisms,” I answered; “they’ve been quite flattering of late—one or two of them.”
“Well, what is it?” said Ethelbertha; “there must be something to account for it.”
“No, there isn’t,” I replied; “that’s the remarkable thing about it; I can only describe it as a strange feeling of unrest that seems to have taken possession of me.”
Ethelbertha glanced across at me with a somewhat curious expression, I thought; but as she said nothing, I continued the argument myself.
“This aching monotony of life, these days of peaceful, uneventful felicity, they appall one.”
“I should not grumble at them,” said Ethelbertha; “we might get some of the other sort, and like them still less.”
“I’m not so sure of that,” I replied. “In a life of continuous joy, I can imagine even pain coming as a welcome variation. I wonder sometimes whether the saints in heaven do not occasionally feel the continual serenity a burden. To myself a life of endless bliss, uninterrupted by a single contrasting note, would, I feel, grow maddening. I suppose,” I continued, “I am a strange sort of man; I can hardly understand myself at times. There are moments,” I added, “when I hate myself.”