After I gott into the Citty my first care was to refresh my selfe with meate and drinke, and then I sought for a ship. The God of all comfort and Father of all mercyes, intending now to put a period to my longe continued afflictions, was pleased to prosper my endeavours, and to direct me to a man that was both faithfull and willing to take care for my security, granting me the use of his ship for my transportation for the summe of fifty pounds sterling. Being got on ship board and come againe into warme lodgeing my feet began to be altogether uselesse to me, and full of raging paine, my frozen toes began now to rott, and were in great danger of loosing altogether, for I had hitherto no tyme for convenience to aply any thing to them, nor could I by what meanes soever recover the flesh that was cutt of the bones till the begining of May following. Because of the contrariety of windes and other impedements we were faine to lye in the River of Sceine till the 21th of March, then we set saile and came into the Downes on the 23d of the same, the same day after I came to London againe.
Now the Lord had tourned my mourning into joy and gladnesse againe, in granting me the sight of that day wherof I had many hundred tymes dispaired of before. Great and unspeakable have beene the sufferings of my body, but farr greater and even beyond all expression have beene the sufferings of my minde. Had I had a thousand worlds in my possession I would freely have given them all for my liberty, and made choyce besides to live in the condition of the meanest beggar all the dayes of my life, if I might have beene freed from those horrid feares which at severall tymes suppressed my spirit with such a weight as if heaven and earth had laid upon my shouldiers. My burthen was so much the heavier the lesse hopes that I had ever to be eased of it, when I tasted and felt in the highest degree all the greife and anguish that poverty, nakednesse, hunger, frost, and the most tiranicall persecution that cruell enimyes could ever inflict upon any mortall body. I could looke for ease no where but from death it selfe, who would have beene my most welcome friend, so it had not beene accompanied with so cruell and exquesite torments as my enimyes threatened me withall.
But blessed and for ever blessed be the Lord, who doth great and marvillous things without number; who disappointeth the devices of the crafty, so that their hands cannot performe their enterprize; who delivereth the poore from him that is too stronge for him; he woundeth and he healeth again; he bringeth downe to the grave and raiseth up againe; he hath not suffered my foes to rejoyce over me, nor given me as a prey to their teeth; he hath beene my sanctuary, my refuge, and my stronge tower from the enimye; he hath saved me from the reproach of those that would have swallowed me up; he hath revived me in the midst of my troubles; he hath delivered my soule from death, myne eyes from teares, my feet from falling; he hath not dispised the affliction of the afflicted, neither hath he hidden his face from me, but when I cryed unto him he heard me; he hath given me my harts desire, and added a length to my dayes. To him only belongeth all praise and thanksgiving for evermore. Amen.
NOTES
P. [5], l. 20. Blaye is on the east side of the estuary of the Gironde. It had in 1876, according to Reclus, a population of 4,500 souls.
P. [15], l. 9. 'Graffe,' i.e. a ditch or moat. Richard Symonds describes Borstall house as defended by 'a pallazado without the graffe; a deepe graffe and wide, full of water.' Diary, p. 231.
P. [17], l. 4. Pullitor, apparently the same place as Pulliac mentioned on p. 40, i.e. Pauillac or Pauilhac, a 'chef-lieu de canton' in the department of the Gironde, on the west side of the estuary nearer the mouth than Blaye. It contained in 1876 a population of 4,150.
P. [31], l. 20. 'mandring,' i.e. maundering. Nares in his glossary defines maunder as meaning to mutter or grumble.
P. [53], l. 21. 'pootered beef,' i.e. salt or spiced beef, usually termed 'powdered beef.'
P. [54], l. 19. 'The Spanish fleet.' A Spanish fleet entered the mouth of the Gironde some weeks after the surrender of Bordeaux, and made several futile attempts to sail up to that city. It left the river about the end of October, 1653, having accomplished nothing. In Israell Bernhard's (or rather Hane's) letter to Thurloe from Rochelle, dated November 15, 1653, he writes: 'The river of Bourdeaux is wholly cleered of the Spanish fleet, as I did relate unto you in my last, dated the 8 of this month; only we live in jealousies and feares lest they should return again, to the great hindrance of all trading from these parts.' Thurloe, i. 578; Chéruel, Ministère de Mazarin, ii. 85.