Bessie at school

by Joanna H. Mathews

"And so, indeed, it proved. Day after day and week after week I lay in a darkened room, suffering terribly, and in danger of losing my sight for ever. The exhibition was over, the long vacation gone by, before I was about again, and the poor eyes, which had been so sorely tried, were able to bear the light. And there was worse, or what I thought was worse, still to come. My own sense, as well as the doctor's orders, told me plainly that all use of my eyes must be forbidden for some time. 'How long?' I asked the doctor.

"'For months, perhaps years,' he answered bluntly.

"You may think what a blow this was to me; but, after my first sorrow had passed away, I amused myself by forming new plans. If I could not distinguish myself in one way, I would in another. I would do so much for other people, that every one would love and honour me. I had plenty of money, for my father gave me a large allowance; and I would look after the wants, not only of the poor family of whom I have before spoken, but of many more down in the village. They were a miserable, neglected set there; but I would alter all that. I would spend my savings for them, and show them how to be neat and comfortable; with my governess's leave, I would gather the children together and teach them all I could without the use of my eyes; and I did not doubt that, in a short time, I should work a change that would surprise and delight all who saw it, and be greatly to my own credit and glory.

"Ah, there was the trouble! I thought I would serve my Master, and let my good works be 'seen of men;' but I fear it was to glorify myself, not Him, and so He did not will that my little light should fall upon the path which I had chosen for myself.

"All these plans and purposes came to nothing, as my former ones had done. I was not only forbidden to read, write, or study, but also to fatigue or exert myself in any way; and, indeed, I soon found that this was necessary. Walking to the village was not to be thought of. One quarter of the distance brought on the old, terrible pain, and I was forced into quiet by the dread of blindness.

"So I was to be laid aside as useless, I thought; and I fretted myself, and others, till those about me had good reason to think that the work I had now chosen was to make myself as disagreeable as possible. It was in vain that my governess told me how wrong and sinful I was; I could listen to nothing but the murmurings of my own discontent and disappointment, and refused to look at the blessings which God had left me, or to learn the lesson He was trying to teach me.

"Thus the rest of the year passed away, and my parents came home, to find me, not the proud, triumphant scholar I had hoped to be, nor yet the beloved and useful benefactor who had gained praise and gratitude from all who knew her; but a restless, moping, fretful invalid—a burden to herself and all around her."

"But, grandmamma," said Maggie, as Mrs. Stanton paused for a moment, "you did not tell us what work it was God had left for you."

"To learn a lesson of patience, humility, and submission to His will, Maggie; lessons which I was long in taking to heart, and which I had sadly needed. It was long years before my health and the use of my eyes came back to me; not till I had learned to be contented with the simple every-day duties which God had meant should be my lot in life. What I wished was to do great things, and serve my God and my fellow-creatures in a way that should be 'seen and known of men;' but our Father knew that this would not be good for me—that the pride and vainglory, which were my chief faults, would only be strengthened and made worse if He allowed me to go on in the paths I had chosen. I can see this now for myself, and bless Him that He put out His hand and led me by the quiet ways where I have learned to find all my duties and my happiness. But, look! There is dear mamma awake, and the duty I see plainly before us now is to go and give her some beef-tea and jelly, which I think she needs."