“Is that you, Jess?” exclaimed the major. “Well, pleg-take your hide to the pleg-taked nation! A little more an’ you’d ’a’ made me cut my th’oat from year to year; an’ as it is, I’ve jest about got enough soap in my eye fer to do a day’s washin’.”
“Is you shavin’ yourse’f, Marse Maje?” asked Jesse, diplomatically.
“That I am,” replied the major with emphasis. “I allers was independent of white folks, an’ sence you pulled up your stakes an’ took up wi’ the quality I’m about independent of the niggers. An’ it’s mighty quare to me,” the major went on, “that you’d leave your high an’ mighty people long enough fer to come a-bangin’ an’ makin’ me put out my eyes. Why, ef I’d ’a’ had my razor out, I’ll be boun’ you’d made me cut my th’oat, an’ much good may it ’a’ done you.”
“Name er goodness, Marse Maje,” protested Jesse, “what make you go on dat a-way? Ef I’d ’a’ knowed you wuz busy in dar I’d ’a’ set out in de sun en waited twel you got thoo.”
“Yes,” said the major in a sarcastic but somewhat mollified tone, “you’d ’a’ sot out there an’ got to noddin’, an’ then bimeby your Miss Sarah would ’a’ come along an’ ketched you there, an’ I’ll be boun’ she’d ’a’ lammed you wi’ a chunk of wood; bekaze she don’t ’low no loafin’ in the back yard sence you been gone. I don’t know what you come fer,” the major continued, still wiping the lather out of his eye, “an’ nuther do I keer; but sence you are here you kin come in an’ finish shavin’ me, fer to pay fer the damage you’ve done.”
Jesse was apparently overjoyed to find that he could be of some service. He bustled around in the liveliest manner, and was soon mowing the major’s fat face with the light but firm touch for which he was noted. As he shaved he talked.
“Marse Maje,” he said, “does you know what I come fer dis mornin’?”
“I’ve been tryin’ to think,” replied the major; “but I couldn’t tell you ef I was a-gwine to be hung fer it. You are up to some devilment, I know mighty well, but I wish’t I may die ef I’ve got any idee what it is.”
“Now, Marse Maje, what make you talk dat’a’way?”