The Bishop and the Boogerman

by Joel Chandler Harris

"Ten to one he doesn't come," remarked Mr. Tidwell to his companion in an undertone.

Mr. Sanders himself had a very small supply of undertones, and so he spoke right out when he replied to the lawyer—"Ef he don't come I'll go arter him, an' ef I have to do that, I'll paint him red before he gits here! I promise you you won't know him!"

But old Jonas came fast enough; moreover, he came smiling, and this, together with the fact that he forgot to remove his skull-cap when he put on his hat gave him something of a new aspect in the eyes even of those who had known him long. The rapidity with which he walked was not so remarkable, considering the fact that Adelaide was running a little ahead of him. The child dropped his hand when she saw Mr. Sanders and the rest, and ran to them as hard as she could. "Bishop!" she cried to Mr. Sanders, "the Boogerman is to come right home this minute. I've found a new gun, and I want to shoot him! Boogerman, please come on!" All that Randall could say was, "Well, suh!" and then he passed his hand across his eyes, and gazed off into the far-distance, seeing whatsoever visions the Almighty vouchsafes to the meek and lowly, who are troubled in heart and mind. He must have seen something, and that something must have been sufficient, for his face brightened, and when he turned his head, and saw that all were looking at him with curiosity, he laughed pleasantly, and, stooping down, lifted Adelaide in his arms, and held her there, as though she would afford him the protection which he thought he needed.

"Which a-way does you-all want me for to go?" he inquired. "Show me, an' I'll go right straight to the place. In Galatians, Paul bragged that he outfaced Peter, an' ef he done that, I speck I kin face what's a comin' to me."

"I'll put your hat on the side of your head, Boogerman, so you can look as bold as a goose," said Adelaide.

"Yes, ma'am, I kin do that an' not half try; an' ef I can't look like a goose, I bet you I can look as sheepish as the next one." He was not even apprehensive and those who were observing him closely wondered at the sudden change that had come over him. "Jail," he went on, in the tone of an exhorter—"jail was good 'nough for the 'postles, an' why not for me? They ain't got no law long 'nough, ner no jail strong 'nough for to prevent pra'r."

"Oh, shucks, Boogerman!" exclaimed Adelaide; "let's go to jail. I want to see what kind of a place it is on the inside, because I may have to send Cally-Lou there if she doesn't behaviour better than she has been doing."

"Well, ef you're a-gwine to send Cally-Lou to that hotel," Mr. Sanders remarked, "jest tell 'em for to gi' me a big room wi' a long bed in it." Then they all went in the courthouse, and sought out the judge of the Superior Court circuit, who had his office in the building. After Lawyer Tidwell's explanation, he very readily consented to hold the commitment trial then and there. Mr. Tidwell briefly called attention to the nature of the warrant that had been served, and announced his intention of bringing the impeachment proceedings against Mr. Tuttle, who was judge of the Court of Ordinary. The Superior Court judge said he had no doubt that such proceedings would hold, when brought at the proper time, and in the proper way, but they had nothing to do with the case before him. Whatever the nature of the warrant, the accused was now in charge of an officer of the law, and it would simplify matters to have the preliminary trial take place at once. Randall gave his version of the affair, and when Mr. Tuttle was called to testify, it was found that the testimony he gave was not materially different from that which the negro had given, much of it being brought out by the close questioning of Mr. Tidwell. The result was that Randall was placed under bond for his appearance at the next term of the superior court to be held in that county. Much to the surprise of all, old Jonas Whipple, instead of making a bond for Randall, gave his check on the local bank, with the understanding that it was to be cashed in favour of the court. The judge said that a bond of that kind was something unusual, but he accepted it.

Randall looked hard at old Jonas, and his lip trembled as if he were about to say something, but, instead, his glance turned to the floor, and he stood fumbling his hat. Mr. Sanders, observing the negro's embarrassment, told a funny story, and when the laughter to which it gave rise had subsided the judge asked the Sage of Shady Dale if he wanted the anecdote to be made a part of the record in the case. The countenance of Mr. Sanders took on a peculiarly solemn expression.

"Well, judge," he replied, "it'd be a mighty good way for to improve it some."