The Chronicles of Aunt Minervy Ann

by Joel Chandler Harris

“Yasser; all un um ’cep’ Hamp, an’ he sot dar so still dat ’twa’n’t long ’fo’ I ’gun ter git shame un him. He sot dar an’ fumble wid some papers, an’ helt his head down, an’ look like he skeer’d. I watch ’im, suh, twel I got so res’less in de min’ I can’t set still. Bimeby I got up an’ went down ter de front do’; I wuz gwine ter make my way in dar whar Hamp wuz at, an’ kinder fetch ’im out’n his dreams, ef so be he wuz dreamin’. An’ I’d a gone in, but a nigger man at de do’ barred de way. He say, ‘Who you want ter see?’ I ’low, ‘I wanter see Hamp Tumlin, dat’s who.’ He say, ‘Does you mean de Honnerbul Hampton Tumlin?’ I ’low, ‘Yes, I does ef you wanter put it dat away. Go in dar an’ tell ’im dat de Honnerbul Minervy Ann Perdue is out here waitin’ fer ’im, an’ he better come quick ef he know what good fer ’im.’

“Wid dat, suh, I hear somebody laugh, an’ look up an’ dar wuz Marse Tumlin standin’ not fur fum de do’ talkin’ wid an’er white man. He ’low, ‘Scott, dis is Minervy Ann. She got mo’ sense an’ grit dan half de white folks you meet.’ Well, suh, de man come up, he did, an’ shuck han’s an’ say he mighty glad ter see me. I never is ter fergit his name on ’count er what happen afterwards. ’Bout dat time Hamp come out an’ Marse Tumlin an’ de ’t’er man draw’d off up de hall.

“I say, ‘Hamp, why in de name er goodness ain’t you ’ten’ ter yo’ bizness? What you waitin’ fer? Is you skeer’d?’ He vow an’ declair’ dat he des waitin’ a chance fer ter put de paper in. I tol’ ’im dat de way ter git a chance wuz ter make one, an’ wid dat he went on in, an’ I went back in de gall’ry. Well, suh, ’twa’n’t long ’fo’ Hamp put in de paper. A man at de foot er de pulpit read it off, an’ den a white man settin’ not fur fum Hamp jump up an’ say he want sump’n done wid it, I dunner what. Hamp say sump’n back at ’im, an’ den de white man say he sorry fer ter see de honnerbul gemman gwine back on de erpublican party. Den Mose Bently—I know’d Mose mighty well—he riz an’ say ef de erpublican party is got ter be led ’roun’ by men like de one what des tuck his seat, it’s high time fer honest folks ter turn der backs on it.

“Well, suh, when Mose say dat, I clap my han’s, I did, an’ holla ‘Good! good! now you got it!’ I couldn’t he’p it fer ter save my life. De man in de pulpit maul de planks wid de mallet like he tryin’ ter split um, an’ he ’low dat ef folks in de gall’ry don’t keep still, he’ll have um cle’r’d out. I holla back at ’im, ‘You better some er dat gang down dar cle’r’d out!’ Quick ez a flash, suh, dat ar Mr. Scott what been talkin’ wid Marse Tumlin jump up an’ ’low, ‘I secon’s de motion!’ De man in de pulpit say, ‘What motion does de gemman fum Floyd secon’?’ Den Mr. Scott fling his head back an’ low, ‘De Honnerbul Minervy Ann Perdue done move dat de flo’ be cle’r’d ’stidder de gall’ry. I secon’s de motion.’

“Den fum dat he went on an’ ’buze de erpublican party, speshually dat ar man what had de ’spute wid Hamp. Mr. Scott say dey got so little sense dat dey go ag’in a paper put in by one er der own party. He say he ain’t keer nothin’ ’tall ’bout de paper hisse’f, but he des wanter show um up fer what dey wuz.

“He totch’d um, suh, ez you may say, on de raw, an’ when he git th’oo he say, ‘Now, I hope de cheer will deal wid de motion of de Honnerbul Minervy Ann Perdue.’ Mr. Scott say, ‘She settin’ up dar in de gall’ry an’ she got des ez much right ter set on dis flo’ ez nineteen out er twenty er dem settin’ here.’ De man in de pulpit look at me right hard, an’ den he ’gun ter laugh. I say, ‘You nee’n ter worry yo’se’f ’bout me. You better ’ten’ ter dem ar half-drunk niggers an’ po’ white trash down dar. I wouldn’t set wid ’em ef I never did fin’ a place fer ter set at.’

“Wid dat, suh, I pickt up my pairsol an’ make my way out, but ez I went I hear um whoopin’ an’ hollerin’.”

“Well, they didn’t pass the bill, did they?” I asked.

“What? dat paper er Marse Tumlin’s? Bless yo’ soul, suh, dey run’d over one an’er tryin’ ter pass it. Mr. Scott fit it like he fightin’ fire, an’ make out he wuz terribly ag’in it, but dat des make um wuss. Hamp say dat inginer’lly dem ar laws has ter wait an’ hang fire; but dey tuck up dat un, an’ shove it th’oo. Dey tuck mo’ time in de ’t’er een’ er de Legislatur’, whar ol’ Alpory wuz at, but it went th’oo when it start. I hope dey don’t have no sech gwines-on now, suh. Ef dey does de whole county can’t drag Paul Conant in dar. I’ll jine um myse’f, ’fo’ I’ll let ’im git in dat kind er crowd.”