Uncle Remus, His Songs and His Sayings

by Joel Chandler Harris

XII. AS A MURDERER

UNCLE Remus met a police officer recently.

"You ain't hear talk er no dead nigger nowhar dis mawnin', is you, boss?" asked the old man earnestly.

"No," replied the policeman, reflectively. "No, I believe not. Have you heard of any?"

"'Pears unter me dat I come mighty nigh gittin' some news bout dat size, an' dat's w'at I'm a huntin' fer. Bekaze ef dey er foun' a stray nigger layin' 'roun' loose, wid 'is bref gone, den I wanter go home an' git my brekfus' an' put on some clean cloze, an' 'liver myse'f up ter wunner deze yer jestesses er de peace, an git a fa'r trial."

"Why, have you killed anybody?"

"Dat's w'at's I'm a 'quirin' inter now, but I wouldn't be sustonished ef I ain't laid a nigger out some'rs on de subbubs. Hit's done got so it's agin de law fer ter bus' loose an' kill a nigger, ain't it, boss?"

"Well, I should say so. You don't mean to tell me that you have killed a colored man, do you?"

"I speck I is, boss. I speck I done gone an' done it dis time, sho.' Hit's bin sorter growin' on me, an' it come ter a head dis mawnin', 'less my name ain't Remus, an' dat's w'at dey bin er callin' me sence I wuz ole er 'nuff fer ter scratch myse'f wid my lef' han'."