“Es fällt der Strahl auf Burg und Thal,
Und schneeige Gipfel, reich an Sagen;
Viel’ Lichter wehn auf blauen Seen,
Bergab die Wasserstürze jagen!
Blas, Hüfthorn, blas, in Wiederhall erschallend:
Blas, Horn—antwortet, Echos, hallend, hallend, hallend!”
—it must be a dull ear which would be satisfied with the omission of rhythm and rhyme.
I have a more serious objection, however, to urge against Mr. Hayward’s prose translation. Where all the restraints of verse are flung aside, we should expect, at least, as accurate a reproduction of the sense, spirit, and tone of the original, as the genius of our language will permit. So far from having given us such a reproduction, Mr. Hayward not only occasionally mistakes the exact meaning of the German text,[H] but, wherever two phrases may be used to express the meaning with equal fidelity, he very frequently selects that which has the less grace, strength, or beauty.[I]
[H] On his second page, the line Mein Lied ertönt der unbekannten Menge, “My song sounds to the unknown multitude,” is translated: “My sorrow voices itself to the strange throng.” Other English translators, I notice, have followed Mr. Hayward in mistaking Lied for Leid.
[I] I take but one out of numerous instances, for the sake of illustration. The close of the Soldier’s Song (Part I. Scene II.) is:—
“Kühn is das Mühen,
Herrlich der Lohn!
Und die Soldaten
Ziehen davon.”
Literally:
Bold is the endeavor,
Splendid the pay!
And the soldiers
March away.
This Mr. Hayward translates:—
Bold the adventure,
Noble the reward—
And the soldiers
Are off.