“Yes, but that is not the way things happen. We do not know better than He what is good for us,” Martha said, shaking her head quite seriously. “If we could rule, everything would come wrong. We never can see ahead of the hour and we never know what is good for us because the next moment always brings something we did not know about. Otherwise we would always be trying to undo what we have strained to do the day before; we should only make ourselves miserable over and over again. But if God ordains anything that we do not understand, we must believe firmly that something good will come out of it. We must be patient, and if our troubles are too heavy, we must console ourselves and think: God knows what good will come from it. But we are forgetting the time, Cornelli. You must hurry home to your dinner, now. I am afraid it is already late.”
Cornelli’s black frown had disappeared during Martha’s soothing speech, but now a deep shadow flew across her face.
“Oh, Martha, if I only did not need to go home any more! I hate to go back and sit at table. I would not mind dying of hunger, if I could only stay here with you.”
Cornelli, glancing at her home, drew together her brows as if she saw something frightful there.
“But, child, you must not say such things about your lovely home; it is wrong to do that,” said Martha, kindly admonishing her. “Just think how many children have no home at all. How grateful they would be to God for a home like yours. Go, now, Cornelli, be grateful for all God has given you and chase away the thoughts that make you sad. Come soon again and we shall be glad together, for there is always something to be glad about.”
Cornelli went. While she had been with Martha and had heard her words, it had really seemed to her that there was no cause for grief. As soon, however, as she entered the garden and saw the windows of the room where they were surely already at table, everything that had pressed heavily on her heart rose again. After all, Martha did not know everything.
Cornelli was sure that she could never be happy any more. She could not go in there and she could not eat. She felt as if she could not swallow anything, for big stones seemed to stick in her throat. If she would only die from it all! Cornelli thought that that would be best, for then everything would be over. So she sat down on the lawn behind the thick currant bushes, where she could not be seen from the house. Meanwhile, Miss Mina had carried away the sweets and was putting the fruit course on the table.
“It seems to me that Cornelli does not care if she comes to table a whole hour late,” said Miss Dorner. “Nothing is to be kept warm for her, for she does not seem to have learned yet how to respect time and order. She had better learn it soon.”
Mina went out to sit down for her dinner. Esther had everything ready and was just putting the dessert in the cupboard.
“That is for Cornelli as soon as she comes home,” she said, sitting down, too; “the poor child gets enough bitter things to swallow nowadays.”