The officers' club was in the same building as my office and the captain had come down early, evidently to get a—to read the morning paper (which came at 4 P. M.) and his eye lighted on my bulletin. I saw him read it carefully, and then reaching up he tore it from the board and as quick as his little legs would carry him, he made a bee line for the commanding officer's quarters. I knew full well how the colonel would regard that bulletin when he found out it was a fake. I was able to discern a summary court-martial in my mind's eye, and that would knock my chances for a commission sky-highwards—because a man's military record must be absolutely spotless when he appears for examination. What was I to do? Just then I saw the captain go up the colonel's steps, ring the bell, and in a moment he was admitted. I felt that my corpse was laid out right then and there and the wake was about to begin.
A few moments later the commanding officer's orderly came in, and looking around for a minute, caught sight of me and said:
"Corporal, the commanding officer wants to see you at his quarters at once," and out he went. "Start the band to playing the 'Dead March in Saul,'" thought I, "because this is the beginning of a funeral procession in which I am to play the leading part." I walked as slowly as I could and not appear lagging, but I arrived at my crematory all too soon. I rapped on the door and in tones that made me shiver was bidden by the old man to come in. The colonel was standing in the middle of his parlor, wrapped in a gaudy dressing gown, and in his hand he held my mangled bulletin. Right at that minute I wished I had never heard a telegraph instrument click.
"Corporal," said the colonel, "what time did you receive this bulletin?"
"About six-fifteen, sir, immediately after reveille," I replied with a face as expressionless as a mummy's.
"Why did you not bring it to me direct as you have heretofore done?"
"Well, sir, I didn't think you were awake yet, and I did not want to disturb you."
"Have you any later news, corporal?"
"No sir, none, but I haven't been back to the office since, sir." Gee! but that room was becoming warm!
"Are you certain as to the truth of this awful report?"