TO HIS SISTER.
With a mind willing to acquiesce in whatever my God shall appoint, I am enabled to leave this and all my concerns to his gracious disposal, being fully persuaded that the Lord reigneth. If I have at all profited by past experience in anything, it is in this, a strong and operative conviction that so long as we trust in God, our concerns, however unpleasant at the time, will materially conduce to our welfare; and oh! what an intolerable load of foolish anxiety and trouble does this persuasion remove from our labouring minds! You will perhaps remember that one of the last topics of conversation, when you and Eliza so kindly accompanied me to the Wash, was the necessity of sacrificing our own will to others, if we would enjoy comfort ourselves. I was naturally led to speculate on the future, but could not help being forcibly struck with the mighty efficacy of this principle, if suffered to operate freely on our conduct.
As I think it very probable my continuance in college may be prolonged, I intend availing myself of the opportunity thus afforded me of attending a course of lectures on anatomy, chemistry and mineralogy. When I thought it my duty to ask for orders in March, I willingly gave up all thought of enjoying this gratification. I was enabled to sacrifice it to more important considerations, but since these reasons no longer exist, I shall gladly avail myself of the privilege.
Upon the subject of general knowledge for a minister, I was much pleased with Herbert’s “Priest to the Temple.” “The country parson is full of all knowledge: they say, that it is an ill mason that refuseth any stone, and there is no knowledge but serves either positively as it is, or else to illustrate some other knowledge: he condescends even to the knowledge of tillage and pasturage, and makes great use of them in teaching, because people by what they understand are best led to what they understand not.” As one means of preparing me for the great charge which lies before me, I have begun a regular course of the lives of eminently pious characters. The good I received from this kind of reading some years ago, makes me indulge the hope that it may be equally serviceable now; but I would not rest here—it is a real baptism of the Holy Spirit alone which can properly qualify me for usefulness in the pulpit, and a consistent course out of it.
TO THE REV. J. ARMSTRONG.
Q. C. Camb. Feb. 26, 1811.
My very dear Friend,
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Since I last wrote to you I have been spending a few days at Islington; but my stay being very short, I was obliged to confine myself wholly to home. I visited but one person all this time. I had hoped, however, to have returned again soon, and to have done myself the pleasure of calling on my several friends; but a very unpleasant circumstance has hindered me—the bishop has refused me ordination at present: and I am under the necessity of waiting till it shall please my gracious God to show my path. My vicar is a notorious character, and my friends have all along been apprehensive lest I should find some difficulty in getting ordained to his curacy. I must say, I shall not be a little disappointed should I be obliged to relinquish all thought of Wellington; but the matter is in the Lord’s hands, and I would willingly leave it to his all-wise disposal. If I have learned anything by my past experience, it is this, to feel fully persuaded that all our concerns, however unpleasant they may be at the present, will, either in this world or in the world to come, terminate in our good. In affairs of this kind it is better to make as little fuss as possible: I must therefore beg you will not mention it to any one. I shall wait quietly for the present, in hope that the bishop may relent; but should not this be the case, I must content myself with some other situation. Poor G. is similarly circumstanced with myself; he has been refused three times, and that, too, in spite of the interest of the Master; he wishes to be ordained on his Coll. Fellowship, and that lover of the truth, the good Bishop of Ely, has every time put a spoke in his wheel. But what a mercy it is that, notwithstanding all the opposition which serious candidates meet with, still they are not, cannot be, entirely hindered and excluded! * * * * * *
And believe me to remain,