Madeley, December 29, 1818.
My dear Armstrong,
With respect to myself, I can say but little, excepting what must tend to humble me in the dust before the Lord and my fellow men. I am still stationary here, and from all that has transpired, both within and without, I feel now convinced that whatever the duty of others may be, mine is to remain at home; and, I think, I shall not easily be induced to make any further effort to make my escape. I am now quite content to remain quiet here, and while set aside by the Lord, as an instrument in whom he has no such pleasure, can adore him for the greatness of his tender compassions, which intervened as an effectual barrier, and kept me from bringing chastisement upon myself and my family for my presumptuous folly, in thinking of stretching out my unhallowed hand in supporting a cause, which, perhaps, I should only have touched, to have impressed on it a mark of indelible disgrace.
But amidst these feelings which humble me in the dust, and even confound me before the Lord, I still find him most graciously condescending to visit me, and still perceive abundant tokens of his love in my parish, and in my family. All seems to wear a cheerful and exhilarating smile, and if ever I was convinced that my being hindered in my plans was from the Lord, I think it is now. The affection manifested by all classes among my dear people, when it was known that I had given up the idea of leaving them, was such as will long be remembered by me with gratitude towards my kind and loving God: for it is He, and He alone, who can thus give us the hearts of our people. O, may I serve in the Gospel of his Son more faithfully than I have hitherto done!
TO THE SAME.
Madeley, February 26, 1819.
My dear Armstrong,
If I recollect right, I just alluded in my last to the very striking and unexpected change which has taken place in my brother —. The more I think of it the more am I filled with astonishment and gratitude. Had I been required to select an individual, which, in my estimation, was the least likely to become a trophy to the powerful grace of our Redeemer, — would have been the person upon whom I should have fixed. The grace, however, of his so long despised Lord has at length triumphed, and he now delights to build up the faith which he once so malignantly endeavoured to destroy.
You will readily conceive that I have derived no small encouragement from these dealings of my gracious God with my dear brother. But the encouragement has been greatly increased by the change which has recently passed upon dear Tooi, one of my New Zealand guests. After they had set sail for New South Wales, in the Baring, the ship struck against a brake, and they were obliged to put again into port. During this interval, Tooi was taken dangerously ill, and, in the estimation of all who saw him, had not the least probability of recovery. This painful visitation, however, to his poor body, seems to have been the means of salvation to his soul. All the pious friends who surround him, speak of the change as most unequivocal; and Mr. Hall, who attended them while with me, and who is as far, as any one I know, from attempting to colour, speaks in decided terms of the divine change which he has experienced. Among other things in one of his letters, writing of Tooi, he says, “I cannot help mentioning one of his simple speeches, which I think will please you. ‘When I in New South Wales my heart no good: I come to England, and hear the word of God, and, I think, O dear me, I want a new heart; I begin to pray to Jesus to give me a new heart. In my own country, I sin very much, and, when in South seaman, the sailors teach me to curse and swear—miserable work. But the blood of Jesus runs down my heart, and washes away my sins, and my heart feel comfortable and happy, and I no fear to die. Believe in Jesus is the way to go up to heaven, and be happy for ever with Jesus, and all Christian friends; (naming many, and you and your’s amongst the number).’” O, my dear friend, how blessed is true religion, and how touching is this simple account, which shows, I think, that dear Tooi has become possessed of it.