The Germans also use the word Quacksalber, and the Dutch Kwaksalver, a term which Bilderdijk, in his ‘Geslachtlijst der Naamwoorden,’ (derivation or gender of men’s names) says, ought more properly to be Kwabsalver, from Kwab, a wen, and Salver, to anoint. Be this as it may, the English word quack certainly means an illegitimate medical practitioner, a pretender to medical science, whose pretensions are not warranted by his knowledge.
The seventeenth century was prolific in quacks—a notable example being John Wilmot, Earl of Rochester. Both Bishop Burnet and De Gramont agree that, during one of his banishments from Court, he lived in Tower Street (next door to the sign of the ‘Black Swan,’ at a goldsmith’s house), and there practised as a quack doctor, as one Alexander Bendo, newly arrived from Germany. There is a famous mountebank speech of his extant, copies of which exist not only in broad sheets, but in some of the jest-books of the seventeenth century, which, genuine or not, is very amusing. It is far too long to transcribe here, but perhaps I may be pardoned if I give a short extract.
‘The knowledge of these secrets I gathered in my travels abroad (where I have spent my time ever since I was fifteen years old to this, my nine and twentieth year) in France and Italy. Those that have travelled in Italy will tell you what a miracle of art does there assist nature in the preservation of beauty: how women of forty bear the same countenance with them of fifteen: ages are no way distinguished by faces; whereas, here in England, look a horse in the mouth and a woman in the face, you presently know both their ages to a year. I will, therefore, give you such remedies that, without destroying your complexion (as most of your paints and daubings do) shall render them perfectly fair; clearing and preserving them from all spots, freckles, heats, pimples, and marks of the small-pox, or any other accidental ones, so that the face be not seamed or scarred.
‘I will also cleanse and preserve your teeth white and round as pearls, fastening them that are loose: your gums shall be kept entire, as red as coral; your lips of the same colour, and soft as you could wish your lawful kisses.
‘I will likewise administer that which shall cure the worst of breaths, provided the lungs be not totally perished and imposthumated; as also certain and infallible remedies for those whose breaths are yet untainted; so that nothing but either a very long sickness, or old age itself, shall ever be able to spoil them.
‘I will, besides, (if it be desired) take away from their fatness who have over much, and add flesh to those that want it, without the least detriment to their constitutions.’
By his plausible manners and good address, he soon gathered round him a large clientèle of servants, etc., for he told fortunes as well as cured diseases. These told their mistresses, and they too came to consult the wise man. Even the Court ladies came incognito to see him, and la belle Jennings, sister to the famous Sarah, first Duchess of Marlborough, went, with the beautiful Miss Price, to have their fortunes told, disguised as orange-wenches, and in all probability their visit would never have been heard of, had they not met with a disagreeable adventure with a somewhat dissolute gentleman named Brounker, who was gentleman of the chamber to the Duke of York, and brother to Viscount Brounker, President of the Royal Society.
John Cotgrave[87] thus describes the quack of his time:
‘My name is Pulse-feel, a poor Doctor of Physick,
That does wear three pile Velvet in his Hat,
Has paid a quarter’s Rent of his house before-hand,
And (simple as he stands here) was made Doctor beyond sea.
I vow, as I am Right worshipful, the taking
Of my Degree cost me twelve French Crowns, and
Thirty-five pounds of Butter in upper Germany.
I can make your beauty and preserve it,
Rectifie your body and maintaine it,
Clarifie your blood, surfle[88] your cheeks, perfume
Your skin, tinct your hair, enliven your eye,
Heighten your Appetite; and, as for Jellies,
Dentifrizes, Dyets, Minerals, Fucusses,[89]
Pomatums, Fumes, Italia Masks to sleep in,
Either to moisten or dry the superficies, Paugh, Galen
Was a Goose, and Paracelsus a patch
To Doctor Pulse-feel.’
Then there was that arch quack and empiric, Sir Kenelm Digby, with his ‘sympathetic powder,’ etc., and Dr. Saffold, originally a weaver, who distributed his handbills broadcast, advertising his ability to cure every disease under the sun.