Eighteenth Century Waifs

by John Ashton

So universal was this practice of advertising that, to quote Ward[98] once more, when talking of the Royal Exchange, he says,

‘The Wainscote was adorn’d with Quacks’ Bills, instead of Pictures; never an Emperick in the Town, but had his Name in a Lacquered Frame, containing a fair Invitation for a Fool and his Money to be soon parted.’

The newspapers teemed with quack advertisements. These, of course, we have; but we also have preserved to us a quantity of the ephemeral hand-bills, which, presumably, were kept on account of the intrinsic merits they possessed. They are a curious study. There was the ‘Oxford Doctor at the Fleet Prison, near Fleet Bridge, London,’ who would sell ten pills in a box for sixpence, warranted a cure for the ‘Scurvy, Dropsie, and Colt-evil,’ would provide a remedy for ‘Headach, Sore Eyes, Toothach, Stomachach, Bleeding, Scorbutick Gums, Black, Yellow, foul Teeth, Cramp, Worms, Itch, Kibes, and Chilblains; the Price of each proper Specifick, Twopence. Teeth or stumps of Teeth, Drawn with Ease and Safety, Let Blood neatly, Issues or Setons Curiously made; For Two Pence each, and welcome. By the Doctor that puts forth this paper, you may be Taught Writing, Arithmetick, Latin, Greek, and Hebrew, at reasonable Rates by the great, Or Two Pence each of them by the Week.’ Presumably, as he does not advertise it, he could not teach manners at the same traditional price.

There was another who sold the Elixir Stomachum which was sold at the various coffee-houses about town, and he complains thus: ‘☞ Garrowaye, the Apple-man at the Exchange, who had it of me, to sell, for five or six years, I have lately found out, is Counterfeiting it, and have removed mine from him; and what he now sells is a Counterfeit sort, and not the Right, as was formerly Sold there.’

There was a man, living in Blackfriars, who was so modest that he veiled his identity under the initials R.C., who, from two in the afternoon till night, ‘will give to all People a Secret how they may utterly destroy Buggs without injury to their Goods, at reasonable rates; do as you are Taught, and if any be doubtful of the truth of it, they may have full satisfaction of them that have Experienced it.’

Here is a gentleman who gives a minute address. ‘In Petty France, Westminster, at a house with a black dore, and a Red Knocker, between the Sign of the Rose and Crown and Jacob’s Well, is a German who hath a Powder which, with the blessing of God upon it, certainly cures the Stone, &c.... If any person of known Integrity will affirm that upon following their directions the cure is not perfected, they shall have their Money returned. Therefore be not unwilling to come for help, but suspend your Judgment till you have try’d, and then speak as you find.’

There is another, which may belong to the previous century—but it is so hard to tell, either by means of type or wood blocks—put forth by ‘Salvator Winter, an Italian of the City of Naples, Aged 98 years, Yet, by the Blessing of God, finds himself in health, and as strong as anyone of Fifty, as to the Sensitive part; Which first he attributes to God, and then to his Elixir Vitæ, which he always carries in his pocket adayes, and at Night under his pillow; And when he finds himself distemper’d, he taketh a Spoonful or two, according as need requireth.‘ It is needless to say that the Elixir was warranted to cure every evil under the sun, including such diverse maladies as catarrhs, sore eyes, hardness of hearing, toothache, sore throat, consumption, obstructions in the stomach, and worms. The net was arranged to catch every kind of fish. In fact, his business was so profitable that he had a successor, ‘Salvator Winter, Junior,’ who says thus: ‘My father, aged 98 years, yet enjoys his perfect health, which, next to the blessing of God, he attributes to the Elixir Vitæ having alway a bottle of it in his pocket, drinking a spoonful thereof four or five times a day; snuffing it very strongly up his Nostrils, and bathing his Temples; thus by prevention, he fortifies his vital Spirits.’

Nor did the sterner sex monopolise the profession of quackdom, for ‘At the Blew-Ball in Grays-Inn Lane, near Holborn Barrs, next Door to a Tallow-Chandler, where you may see my Name upon a Board over the Door, liveth Elizabeth Maris, the True German Gentlewoman lately arrived.’ It seems that we were much indebted to Germany for our quacks, for ‘At the Boot and Spatter dash,[99] next Door but One to the Vine Tavern, in Long-Acre, near Drury Lane, Liveth a German D^r. and Surgeon, Who by the blessing of GOD on his great Pains, Travels and Experience, hath had wonderful Success in the Cure of the Diseases following,’ &c. There was also ‘Cornelius à Tilbourg, Sworn Chirurgeon in Ordinary to K. Charles the II., to our late Sovereign K. William, as also to Her present Majesty Queen Ann.’

A certain John Choke, whose motto was ‘Nothing without God,’ and was ‘an approved Physician; and farther, Priviledged by his Majesty,’ advertised ‘an Arcane which I had in Germany, from the Famous and most Learned Baptista Van Helmont, of worthy Memory (whose Daughter I Wedded), and whose Prœscripts most Physicians follow.’

Curative and magical powers seem to have extended from seventh sons of seventh sons to women—for I find an advertisement, ‘At the Sign of the Blew-Ball, at the upper end of Labour in vain-Street, next Shadwell-New-Market, Liveth a Seventh Daughter, who learn’d her Skill by one of the ablest Physicians in England (her uncle was one of K. Charles’s and K. James’s twelve Doctors), who resolves all manner of Questions, and interprets Dreams to admiration, and hath never fail’d (with God’s Blessing) what she took in hand.’ Also there was a book published late in the seventeenth century, called ‘The Woman’s Prophecy, or the Rare and Wonderful DOCTRESS, foretelling a Thousand strange monstrous things that shall come to pass before New Year’s day next, or afterwards—. She likewise undertakes to cure the most desperate Diseases of the Female Sex, as the Glim’ring of the Gizzard, the Quavering of the Kidneys, the Wambling Trot, &c.’ A man who lived at the ‘Three Compasses’ in Maiden Lane, also issued a hand bill that he would infallibly cure ‘several strange diseases, which (though as yet not known to the world) he will plainly demonstrate to any Ingenious Artist to be the greatest Causes of the most common Distempers incident to the Body of Man. The Names of which take as follow: The Strong Fives, the Marthambles, the Moon-Pall, the Hockogrocle.’