Plung’d in the deep, her navy we’ll confound,
Or with French blood manure our British ground;
Drive backward to the sea the Gallic slaves,
And whelm their host, like Pharaoh’s, in the waves;
Restore lost Peace and Plenty to our isle,
And make the land again with gladness smile.
Britons, strike home! &c.
There is an amusing picture by West (July 1803) called Amusement after Dinner, or The Corsican Fairy displaying his Prowess.’ George the Third and Queen Charlotte are at dessert, which is, as was their whole ménage, frugal, consisting only of a blancmange—the top ornament of which is a fleet of ships, behind which is a pineapple (the King fruit, as it was called on its introduction into England), the summit of which bears a crown. The royal pair are highly amused by the antics of the Corsican fairy (Napoleon) who vapours about the table in huge cocked hat and enormous sword. Pointing to the blancmange, he says, ‘If I could but get over this dish of Blanche Mange, I would soon invade the Pine Apple.’
In ‘A Monstrous Stride,’ by I. Cruikshank (July 25, 1803), Bonaparte is represented as flourishing his sword and, having one foot on Turkey and Poland, is attempting to put the other on Great Britain, but steps short, and comes among the fleet guarding the English shores. Underneath the picture is ‘He will put his foot in it.’
There was a somewhat amusing political squib on Napoleon, published some time in July of this year, entitled
BONAPARTE’S WILL.
In the name of my Trinity, the Goddess of Reason, Mahomet the Prophet, and Pius the Pope; We the most great, most magnanimous, and most puissant Brutus Aly Napoleon Bonaparte, son to a Spy, grandson to a Butcher, and great-grandson to a Galley Slave, Emperor of the Gauls, First Consul of France, President of Italy, Landamman of Switzerland, Director of Holland, King of Etruria, Protector of Emperors, Dictator and Creator of Kings, Electors, Princes, Cardinals, Senators, Generals, Bishops, Prefects, Actors, Schoolmasters, &c., &c., &c., do declare, that notwithstanding the adulation of our Slaves, and their assurances of immortality, the pangs of our conscience, the decay of our body, the fear of recoiling daggers, the dreadful anticipation of infernal machines emitting fire and smoke, invented at Jaffa, and the hissing breath of the poisonous serpents generated at El Arish, remind us that we soon must die, and that our power must die with us. We, therefore, according to the Senatus Consultum of our free Senate, do declare this to be our last Will and Testament, as follows:
Imprimis.
To our most beloved, and dearest Ibrahim Rostan, Mameluke, we give and bequeath after our decease, the crown of Henry IV., the sceptre of Saint Louis, and the throne of France and Navarre, the sovereignty and sovereign disposal of the lives and fortunes of thirty millions of Frenchmen, of six millions of Italians, of seven millions of Spaniards, of two millions of Helvetians, and of three millions of Batavians, (except as is hereafter excepted) and we enjoin and charge all the world to acknowledge, adore, and respect this Mameluke, Ibrahim Rostan, the African, as the natural and legal successor of us, Brutus Aly Napoleon Bonaparte, the Corsican.
We give and bequeath in reversion, to Citizen Barras, our dear Consort, much improved, and more enriched, but reserving to ourselves the disposal of her virtuous Maids of Honour, whom we give and bequeath to our Legion of Honour, as a reward due as well to the virtues of the one, as to the valour of the other.
We give and bequeath to our dearly beloved brother Joseph, the presidency of the Italian Republic, together with our dearly bought Minister Talleyrand, to be disposed of as his own property, in all future negociations.
To our dearly beloved brother Lucien, we give and bequeath our Batavian Republic, and our Minister Chaptal, who, hereafter, shall write his speeches, dictate his letters, and correct his spelling.
To our dearly beloved brother Louis, we bequeath our Helvetian Republic, and our Minister Berthier, accompanied with the sense of his Secretary Achambau, whose instructions, in some time, may enable him to become a good Corporal of Grenadiers.
To our dearly beloved brother Jerome, we bequeath, in petto, the sovereignty of the seas, with our minister of Marine, and all the admirals of our navy, doubting, however, if their united efforts will make him a good midshipman.
To our dearly beloved Mother, we give and bequeath his Holiness, the Pope, and our uncle, Cardinal Frere[79]; with a Pope, and a Cardinal, in her possession, her stay in purgatory must be short, and in Heaven long.
To our dearly beloved sisters, Mistresses Bacchiocchi, Murat, Santa Cruce, and Le Clerc, we give and bequeath our family honours, chastity, modesty, and moderation.
To our dear son in law, Eugenius Beauharnais, we give and bequeath Parma and Plaisance,[80] with our dear countryman Sebastiani, who will instruct him to drive like a coachman, and ride like a postillion.
To our much beloved daughter in law, Madame Fanny Beauharnais, as a reward for her loyalty, we bequeath a representation, in wax, of the scaffold of her father, and the throne of her mother, both designed by the revolutionary modellers, Barras & Co.
To our dear uncle, Cardinal Frere,[79] we give and bequeath the triple crown of St. Peter, in petto, and to all our nameless known and unknown relatives, we give and bequeath the kingdom of Etruria, to be disposed of to the highest bidder, and its value laid out in mourning rings, to be equally distributed amongst them, and certain Continental Princes hereinafter mentioned.
We give and bequeath to our dear friend the King of Spain, an Etrurian mourning ring, and four family pictures, representing the Bourbons dethroned, the Bourbons degraded, the Bourbons repenting, and the Bourbons forgiven.
We give and bequeath to the King of Naples, three marble statues, after a model by his Queen, representing Faith, Loyalty, and Constancy; and to the Kings of Sardinia, we bequeath our promises of honour, to be equally divided between them.
We give and bequeath to his Holiness the Pope, the doctrines of the Goddess of Reason, the Alcoran of Mahomet, and the atheism of our Institute; all true relics; besides, to himself, his successors, and College of Cardinals, we bequeath concordant mourning rings, from the manufactory of our Counsellor of State Portalis.[81]
We give and bequeath to his Imperial Majesty the Emperor of Germany, two drawings, representing Hope amongst the ruins of Turkey, and Desire contemplating Bavaria, designed by Citizen Dupe, and sold by Citizen Plot.
We give and bequeath to his Imperial Majesty the Emperor of Russia, three pictures, representing Louis XVI. upon the Throne, Louis XVI. in the Temple, and Louis XVI. upon the Scaffold; by Citizens Loyalty, Monarchy, and Warning.
We give and bequeath to our dearest friend the King of Prussia, the landscape of Hanover, with the Imperial Crown in perspective, by Citizens Royalty, Jacobin, and Rebel.
We give and bequeath to our natural Ally the Emperor of the Turkish Empire, the description of our Conquests of Egypt, our flight from Egypt, and our future return to Egypt, by Citizens Treachery, Cowardice, and Design.
We give and bequeath to his Majesty the King of the United Kingdoms of Great Britain, and Ireland, the United Navy of Holland and France, commanded by Citizen Envy, mann’d by Citizen Coalition, and lost by Citizen Invasion.
We give and bequeath to his Majesty the King of Sweden, the French original representation of the assassination of Gustavus III. to remind him of vengeance, honour and duty.
We give to our dear friend the King of Denmark, an original painting, of the insults, torments, and death, of his Queen Caroline Matilda; designed and executed by two celebrated French artists, Citizens Intrigue and Crime.
We give and bequeath to the Regent of Portugal, a Code of our Revolutionary Laws of Nations, and a chapter of the Rebel Etiquette of Grenadier Ambassadors, explained and illustrated by Citizens Sans Culottes, Rudeness, and Impudence.
We give and bequeath to our friend the Elector of Bavaria the Bible of the Theophilanthropes, and the Concordat of Portalis, as an assistance to his patriotic illuminated ministers, in their political reformations, and religious innovations.
We give and bequeath to our chosen Grand Master of Malta, the Musical Opera of the Capture of Malta, performed in 1798 with a Concerto by Citizen Treason, and in 1800 with a Bravura, by Citizen Valour, with the farcical afterpiece of the Recapture, performed at Amiens, by Citizens Fraud and Treaty.
To all other Continental Sovereigns, who have accepted more or less of our bountiful indemnities, we give and bequeath our mourning rings of honour; and to all other ambassadors, ministers, agents, and deputies, who have negociated, intrigued, bribed, or begged indemnities, we give and bequeath, with our consciences of honour, the revolutionary principles of Necker, the ex-minister, the probity, and disinterestedness of Talleyrand, our minister, and the honour and virtue of Fouché our senator, to be equally divided amongst them, share and share alike.
We give and bequeath to all Sovereigns upon earth, who have acknowledged our Corsican Kingdom of Etruria, and to their ministers and counsellors, Iron mourning rings, from the axe of the Guillotine, of the Luneville manufactory, bearing the following inscription, ‘Monarchy degraded, and Monarchy dishonoured, Feb. 1801.’[82]
We give and bequeath to the Citizens of the Republics in Italy, Switzerland, and Holland, our Corsican Mourning rings, with an inscription, ‘Liberty lost, 1801, and unrevenged, 1803.’
N.B.—We give and bequeath to the Citizens of the United States of America, the funeral speeches on the tombs of the Liberty of France, Germany, Switzerland, Italy, and Holland, translated and published by Citizen Plot, in Louisiana.
To all our Senators, Legislators, Tribunes, Counsellors, Ministers, Generals, Cardinals, Bishops, Prefects, &c., &c., &c., and to all other of our Slaves of every denomination and description, whether Rebel, Royalist, or Regicide Jacobins; either Traitors, Apostates, Murderers, or Plunderers, we give and bequeath the Cannon of St. Napoleon, the dagger of St. Brutus, the poison of St. Aly, the Guillotine of St. Robespierre, and the halter of St. Judas; all true relics, to be equally divided amongst them.
We give and bequeath to the Manes of all the Citizens butchered by us at Toulon, murdered by us at Paris, and poisoned by us in Egypt; our confession to our Cardinal Bishop at Paris, and our absolution from his Holiness the Pope.
We command, and desire most earnestly, not to be buried in any Church or Church-yard, in any mosque or pantheon, but in the common sewer of Montmartre, where the corses of our worthy predecessors, Marat and Robespierre, were deposited; but for the quiet of our soul, we do order, and put into requisition, La Revalliere, high priest to the Goddess of Reason, Mercier, the atheist of the Institute, Amarat, the mufti of Constantinople, and Pius the Pope of Rome, to say prayers over our tomb, and to read ‘Domine salvum fac Consulem,’ sic transit Gloria mundi!
Lastly, to Louis the XVIII. commonly called the Pretender, and to all Princes of the House of Bourbon, their heirs, executors, administrators, and assigns, we give and bequeath our everlasting hate; and it is our further will and pleasure, that, if any potentate or power, shall harbour the said Louis XVIII. or any of the said princes, such harbouring shall be a good cause of war; and the potentate and power guilty of such humanity, and hospitality, shall be punished by a Coalition of Powers as a violater of the law of nations, and contrary to the rights of man.
In Witness whereof, we have hereunto set our hand and seal the 25th day of Prairial, (14 June, 1803) in the eleventh year of the French Republic, one and indivisible.
Brutus Aly Napoleon Bonaparte.
As a specimen of the bombast of the time, we may take the subjoined illustration of what our Tars would do with Napoleon.
INVASION.