Doldrum the Manager sits in his chair,
With a gloomy brow and dissatisfied air,
And he says, as he slaps his hand on his knee,
‘I’ll have nothing to do with Fiddle-de-dee!‘—But Fiddle-de-dee sings clear and loud,
And his trills and his quavers astonish the crowd.
Such a singer as he,
You’ll nowhere see,
They’ll all be screaming for Fiddle-de-dee!‘—Though Fiddle-de-dee sings loud and clear,
And his tones are sweet, yet his terms are dear!
The glove won’t fit!
The deuce a bit.
I shall give an engagement to Fal-de-ral-tit!’”
CHAPTER XIII.
The Mulready Envelope—Plans of Royal Exchange decided on—Fire at York Minster—Queen shot at by Oxford—Oxford in Bedlam—Scientific Agriculture—Electro-metallurgy—Embossed envelope—Sale of Louis Napoleon’s effects.
On the 1st of May, the Post Office issued the long expected postal envelope designed by W. Mulready, R.A., and the opinion of The Times may be taken as the expression of most people’s feelings about it.
Times, 2 May.—“We have been favoured with a sight of one of the new stamp covers, and we must say we never beheld anything more ludicrous than the figures or allegorical device by which it is marked with its official character—why not add embellished? Cruickshank could scarcely produce anything so laughable. It is, apparently, a spirited attempt to imitate the hieroglyphic which formed one of the ornaments to Moore’s Almanack; Britannia is seated in the centre, with the lion couchant (Whiggish) at her feet; her arms are extended, scattering little flying children to some elephants on the left; and, on the right, to a group of gentlemen, some of whom, at all events, are not enclosed in envelopes, writing on their knees, evidently on account of a paucity of tables. There are, besides, sundry figures, who, if they were to appear in the streets of London, or any of our highways, would be liable to the penalties of the Vagrant Act for indecent exposure. Under the tableland by which these figures are supported, some evidence of a laudable curiosity is depicted, by three or four ladies, who are represented reading a billet doux, or valentine, and some little boys, evidently learning to spell, by the mental exertion which their anxious faces disclose. One serious omission we must notice. Why have those Mercuries in red jackets, who traverse London and its environs on lame ponies, been omitted? We must admit that, as they have been, recently, better mounted, that is one reason why they should not appear in this Government picture.”
But the reader can judge how far this description is borne out.
As a matter of fact, it was so universally disapproved of by the public, and was the object of so much ridicule, as to
necessitate the destruction of nearly all the vast number prepared for issue. To do this, a machine had to be specially constructed; the attempt to do the work by fire, in close stoves (fear of robbery forbade the use of open ones), having absolutely failed. They are now somewhat scarce, but are extensively forged. It was satirized and laughed at by all, and a contemporary criticism, which has been reproduced in The Philatelist, vol. vii., p. 145, is very amusing:
“Britannia is sending her messengers forth
To the East, to the West, to the South, to the North:
At her feet is a lion wot’s taking a nap,
And a dish-cover rests on her legs and her lap.
To the left is a Mussulman writing a letter,
His knees form a desk, for the want of a better;
Another believer’s apparently trying
To help him in telling the truth, or in lying.
Two slaves ’neath their burden seem ready to sink,
But a sly-looking elephant ‘tips us the wink’;
His brother behind, a most corpulent beast,
Just exhibits his face, like the moon in a mist.
On each is a gentleman riding astraddle,
With neat Turkey carpets in lieu of a saddle;
The camels, behind, seem disposed for a lark,
The taller’s a well-whisker’d, fierce-looking shark.
An Arab, arrayed with a coal-heaver’s hat,
With a friend from the desert is holding a chat;
The picture’s completed by well-tailed Chinese
A-purchasing opium, and selling of teas.
The minister’s navy is seen in the rear—
They long turned their backs on the service—’tis clear
That they now would declare, in their typical way,
That Britannia it is who has done it, not they.
A reindeer and Laplander cutting through snow,
The rate of their progress (down hill) seems to show.
To the right, is the King of the Cannibal Islands,
In the same pantaloons that they wear in the Highlands
Some squaws by his side, with their infantile varments,
And a friend, in the front, who’s forgotten his garments.
Frost, Williams and Jones [132] have this moment been hook
And are fixing the day they would choose to be cook’d.
There a planter is giving and watching the tasks
Of two worthy niggers, at work on two casks.
Below, to the left, as designed by Mulready,
Is sorrow’s effect on a very fat lady;
While joy at good news may be plainly descried,
In the trio engaged on the opposite side.”