"The Duke of Norfolk is attacked by the Hydrophobia, he can't bear the sight of water. His Physicians have prescribed Wine. The Marquis of Stafford, Marquis of Bath, and Lord Thurlow who were present, sanctified this prescription with their most hearty consent."—(Times, Feb. 17, 1794.)
"A new way to travel expeditiously and safely.
"The Duke of Luxembourg, wishing to return to his family at Lisbon, and being apprehensive of going in one of the common packets, which, if taken by the French, would probably cost him his life, lately applied to Lord Chatham, for a passage in an English frigate going to Lisbon. His Lordship very obligingly acquiesced, and a few days since the Duke sailed in her from Portsmouth. It turns out, however, that this frigate has been ordered to cruise for six weeks before she makes for Lisbon: and thus is the unfortunate Duke exposed to the risk of the elements and the hazard of an engagement, from having employed his influence to procure a safe passage."—(Times, May. 10, 1793.)
"There was a rapid trade between Birmingham and France, of base coin, carried from the former to the latter in Folkstone vessels, and with this coin great part of the Army was paid, but the whole is now stopped, and the French Soldiers are paid in paper."—(Times, May 10, 1793.)
"The Duke of Bedford has just completed at Wooburn a Dog-Kennel, that far exceeds his Grace of Richmond's in all points of extent and magnificence: independently of the immense suite of canine apartments, it has baths, coffee rooms, billiard room, &c., and in the centre is a most spacious riding house, &c., for the equestrian amusement of his friends in bad weather."—(Times, Jan. 31, 1794.)
"We know not the Nobleman or Gentleman alluded to lately in the House of Commons, as contracting at £800 a year for supplying his Dog-Kennel; but we have heard it said on very good authority, that there are two kennels, not far from Brighton, in Sussex, which cost very little short of this sum. The Duke of Bedford's Dog-Kennel is a mere nothing to either of those alluded to."—(Times, April 13, 1796.)
"THE FUNERAL!!
"It was not a Tom Cat, for its melodious squalls plainly proved it had long been qualified for the Opera.—It was, however, a prodigious favourite with its Mistress. Long had it lived upon the fat of the land, in Charlotte St., Queen Anne St., where it took great care of Number One! For the space of six years and three months did its Mistress indulge it with 'Rivers of Milk;' and besides it was a sad Cat, for the matter of that, in skimming the cream off everything worth skimming. But as Cats, though they may have nine lives, are not immortal, poor Ralph fell sick and died—without giving time even for a consultation of Physicians! His Mistress, after the first transports of grief were subsided, sent for a Surgeon, who opened the body. He reported that poison was not the cause, as suspected, of his death, but that he was literally killed with kindness. In plain English, he died of a Plethora, for he was fat at heart.
"Away posted the Lady and purchased a piece of ground, just large enough to swing a Cat in, at the new burial ground in Mary-le-bonne. The charge was trifling, only two guineas; an Undertaker provided a coffin in miniature: Grimalkin, after having lain in state, and several of the frail sisterhood, friends of the Lady, partaken of wine and cake, of which plenty was provided; a Hearse with White Plumes drove to the door, and the Lady, a Chief Mourner, attended by her weeping friends, who filled several Mourning Coaches, followed Ralph to the grave last Tuesday week, like 'Niobe all in tears;' and after the body had been deposited in the earth, though with but 'maimed rites,' 'tis true, she returned slowly to the house of mourning.
"But now comes the sad Cat-astrophe—Whether the Undertaker who had undertaken to keep the secret, had blabbed, or whether the spectators of this sad ceremony smelt, as the Cat had often done, a RAT, so it was, however, that the body had not remained an hour, quietly inurned, ere they burst open the hinges of its sepulchre, and parading with it to the place from whence it came, proceeded to break the windows of the afflicted fair one's house: and but for the timely interposition of the Magistrates, the Lady, as well as her house, in all probability would have been pulled to pieces!!!