London.
Printed, And Sold by the Booksellers of London and Westminster. 1703.'
The author tells the history of the club as follows: 'Happening in the late Reign to be in the Company of a certain active Whigg, who in all other Respects was a Man of probity enough; he assured me, that to his Knowledge, 'twas true, That he knew most of the Members of that Club, and that he had been often invited to their Meetings, but that he had always avoided them: Adding, that according to the Principles he was bred up in, he wou'd have made no scruple to have met Charles the First, in the Field, and oppos'd him to the utmost of his Power; but that since he was Dead, he had no further Quarrel to him, and looked upon it as a cowardly piece of Villany, below any Man of Honour, to insult upon a Memory of a Prince, who had suffer'd enough in his Life Time.
'He farther told me, that Milton, and some other Creatures of the Commonwealth, had instituted this Club, as he was inform'd, in Opposition to Bp. Juxon, Dr. Sanderson, Dr. Hammond, and other Divines of the Church of England, who met privately every 30th of January; and, tho' it was under the Time of the Usurpation, had compil'd a private Form of Service for the Day, not much different from that we now find in the Liturgy....
'By another Gentleman, who, about Eight Years ago, went out of meer Curiosity to see their Club, and has since furnish'd me with the following Papers; I was inform'd that it was kept in no fix'd House, but that they remov'd as they saw convenient; that the place they met in when he was with 'em, was a blind Ally, about Morefields;[327] that the Company wholly consisted of Independents and Anabaptists (I am glad for the Honour of the Presbyterians to set down this Remark); that the Famous Jerry White, formerly Chaplain to Oliver Cromwell, who, no doubt on't, came to sanctify with his Pious Exhortations, the Ribbaldry of the Day, said Grace; that after the Table Cloth was removed, the Anniversary Anthem, as they impiously call'd it, was sung, and a Calves Scull filled with Wine or other Liquor, and then a Brimmer went about to the Pious Memory of those worthy Patriots that had kill'd the Tyrant, and deliver'd their Country from his Arbitrary Sway; and lastly, a Collection made for the Mercenary Scribler, to which every Man contributed according to his Zeal for the Cause, or the Ability of his Purse.'
The following 'Anthem,' if not the most refined of the series, is, at least, the most spirited and characteristic:—
An Anthem on the 30th of January 1696.
There was a King of Scottish Race, a Man of Muckle might a,
Was never seen in Battels Great, but greatly he would sh—— a;
This K. begot another K. which made the Nation sad a,
Was of the same Religion, an Atheist like his Dad a:
This Monarch wore a Picked Beard, and seem'd a Doughty Hero,
As Dioclesian Innocent, and Merciful as Nero.
The Churches darling Implement, but Scourge of all the People,
He Swore he'd make each Mother's Son Adore their Idol Steeple:
But they perceiving his designs, grew plagy shy and jealous,
☞ And timely Choppt his Calve's head off, and sent him to his fellows.
Old Rowly did succeed his Dad, such a King was never seen a,
He'd lye with every nasty Drab, but seldom with his Queen a.
His Dogs at Council Board wou'd sit, like Judges in their Furs a,
'Twas hard to say which had most Wit, the Monarch or his Curs a.
At last he died, we know not how, but most think by his Brother,
His Soul to Royal Tophet went to see his Dad and Mother.
The furious James Usurp'd the Throne, to pull Religion down a;
But by his Wife and Priest undone, he quickly lost his Crown a.
To France the wand'ring Monarch's trudg'd, in hopes relief to find a,
Which he is like to have from thence, even when the D——'s blind a.
Oh! how shou'd we Rejoyce and Pray, and never cease to Sing a,
☞ If Bishops too were Chac'd away, and Banished with their King a:
Then Peace and Plenty wou'd ensue, our Bellies wou'd be full a,
The enliven'd Isle wou'd Laugh and Smile, as in the days of Noll a.
Whether this 'Secret History' be true or not, it would almost appear that there was a Calves Head Club in George the Second's reign, for in the Monthly Intelligencer, which was a portion of the Gentleman's Magazine, we find[328]: 'Friday, January 30, 1735. Some young Noblemen and Gentlemen met in a Tavern in Suffolk Street,[329] called themselves the Calves Head Club; dress'd up a Calfs Head in a Napkin, and after some Huzzas threw it into a Bonfire, and dipt Napkins in their red Wine, and wav'd them out at Window. The Mob had strong beer given them, and for a time hallood as well as the best; but taking Disgust at some Healths propos'd, grew so outragious, that they broke all the Windows, and forc'd themselves into the House, but the Guards being sent for, prevented further Mischief.' Different accounts exist of this occurrence, variously modifying it, until they end in a total denial; but engravings exist professing to give the 'True Effigies' of the scene. Apropos of this, in the 1714 edition of the 'Secret History' is an engraving of 'the Westminster Calf's Head Club,' which is none other than the representation of a coffee-house already produced (see page [162]), but altered somewhat to suit the occasion. For instance, the dame de comptoir is erased, and in her place is a huge axe.
Perhaps one of the now best-known clubs of Anne's time was the Kit Cat, which derived its peculiar cognomen (so Addison says) 'from a Mutton Pye.' Attempts have been made to attribute its origin to a political gathering of Whig noblemen and gentlemen, but contemporary authorities all agree that it was founded by Jacob Tonson, the bookseller; and Sir R. Blackmore (a member of the club), who wrote a poem called 'the Kitcats' in 1708, may be considered as knowing something about what he wrote. Whether the pieman's name was Christopher Cat, or Christopher, living at the sign of the Cat and Fiddle, does not much matter: certain it is that the pies from which the club was named were called Kit Cat's pies.