In fact, in all the twelve years of this reign, I only remember meeting with one long account of any piece of home news, and I cannot help thinking that was manufactured, as it is decidedly of the catchpenny and chapbook order. It was 'An Account of the Apprehending and taking of Thomas Wallis, alias Whipping Tom,' a wicked villain who got hold of unprotected females, when crossing the unfrequented fields near Hackney, and administered a fearful thrashing to them, 'with a great Rodd of Birch, that the Blood ran down their tender Bodies in a sad and dreadful manner.' His only excuse was his 'being resolved to be Revenged on all the Women he could come at after that manner, for the sake of one Perjur'd Female, who had been Barbarously False to him.' He 'believed that he had Whip'd from the 10th of October last to the 1st of December, about Three Score and Ten, including Widdows, Wives and Maids, and did intend, if he had not been taken, to have made them up to a Hundred betwixt this and Christmas, at which time he then intended to keep Hollyday till after Twelfday, and then began his Whipping Work.' And once, too, the Postboy (Jan. 27/29, 1713) broke out in a sarcastically humorous vein: 'On Monday last that Facetious and Merry Gentleman in the Pulpit, Mr. Daniel Burgess, departed this Life to the great Mortification of his Female Auditors.'
'Esq: Thomas Burnet (S-n of that vertuous, orthodox, pious, forgiving, impartial, sincere, never wav-ri-g (always standing to his T-x-t) modest, conscientious Di—ne, and by the Gr— of G—d in the fere of the L—d) was on Saturday last taken up, and carried to the Lord Viscount Bolinbroke's Office, for being the Author of that seditious and scandalous Pamphlet, call'd A certain Information of a certain Discourse, &c. (of which Libel Mr. Baker the Publisher lately swore he was the Author) and gave sureties to appear the last Day of this Term; his Bail were Guy Neville and Geo Trenchard Esqs: What's bred in the B-ne will never be out of the Fl-sh.'
Talk about the amenities of the press! Here are one or two samples:—
Titus detected the Tory Popish Plot, and Abel's [511] inveterating a Whiggish One.
Titus was a Foul Mouth Slanderer,—so is Abel.
Titus openly traduced the next Heir to this Crown—So has Abel.
Titus deserv'd to be Hang'd—So does Abel.
Titus was low in Stature, but of Outrageous Principles—So is Abel.
Titus was protected in his Impudence—So is Abel.
But the Time's coming to change, Titus was call'd to Account for it—so will Abel.