Still, all writers have their dab of dirt to throw at them, and to show how universal it was, a few examples may be given. Swift:[568] 'My friend Penn came there, Will Penn the Quaker, at the head of his brethren, to thank the Duke for his kindness to their people in Ireland. To see a dozen scoundrels with their hats on, and the Duke complimenting with his off, was a good sight enough.' Misson: 'The Quakers are great Fanaticks; there seems to be something laudable in them; to outward Appearance they are mild, simple in all respects, sober, modest, peaceable, nay, and they have the Reputation of being honest; and they often are so. But you must have a Care of being Bit by this Appearance, which very often is only outward;' and afterwards, talking of females preaching, 'the Moment Mrs. Doctor spies a Ribbon, the Spirit moves her, and she falls into one of her Fits; up she gets on the Bottom of some Tub; with her pinch'd up Cap, and her screw'd up Countenance; she Sighs, she Groans, she Snorts through the Nose, and then out she bursts into such a Jargon as no mortal Man can make Head or Tale of.' Mrs. Centlivre, in the 'Beau's Duel': 'I carried her to wait on a Relation of ours that has a Parrot, and whilst I was discoursing about some private Business, she converted the Bird, and now it talks of nothing but the Light of the Spirit, and the Inward Man.' Brown: 'They would be thought the only People of God; tho' their Chief Motive to that impudent Ambition, is, that they may claim the Right of Pillaging and Cheating all the World besides, as Ægyptians. They won't swear, because they may chance to pay for that; but they will lie Confoundedly, because they may chance to get by that.' Ward gives an account of a visit to a Quaker's tavern, which was 'intended chiefly for Watering the Lambs of Grace, and not to succour the Evil offspring of a Reprobate Generation;' and he says that 'when they were desirous to Elevate their Lethargick Spirits with the circulation of a Bumper, one fills it, and offers the prevailing Temptation to his left Hand Companion, in these Words, saying, Friend, does the Spirit move thee to receive the good Creature thus plentifully? The other replies, Yea, Do thou take and enjoy the Fruits of thy own Labour, and by the help of Grace I will drink another as full. Thus did the liquorish Saints quaff it about merrily, after their precise Canting manner.' Even the Tatler (262) has an advertisement, 'Drop'd on Sunday last, a small Roll of Paper, in which was inclos'd the Draught of a Quaker holding forth in a Tub, &c.' These examples are quite sufficient to show the universal dislike of this harmless sect, which could only have been induced by the thorough contrast of their homely attire, and plain speech, with the ornate dress and exaggerated verbiage then in vogue.
Penn, indeed, was welcome at Court, and lived at Kensington, and afterwards at Knightsbridge, till 1706. He lived all through Anne's reign, not dying till 1716.
CHAPTER XXXIII.
LEGAL.
The different branches of the law — Briefless Barristers — Green bags — Forensic wigs — Attorneys — Knights of the Post — Lord Somers — Lord Cowper: his abolition of New Year's gifts.
Speaking of lawyers, Addison says:[569] 'The Body of the Law is no less encumbered with superfluous Members, that are like Virgil's Army which he tells us was so crouded, many of them had not Room to use their Weapons. This prodigious Society of Men may be divided into the Litigious and Peaceable. Under the first are comprehended all those who are carried down in Coach fulls to Westminster Hall every morning in Term time. Martial's description of this Species of Lawyers is full of Humour:
Iras et verba locant.
Men that hire out their Words and Anger; that are more or less passionate according as they are paid for it, and allow their Client a quantity of wrath proportionable to the Fee which they receive from him. I must, however, observe to the Reader, that above three Parts of those whom I reckon among the Litigious, are such as are only quarrelsome in their Hearts, and have no Opportunity of showing their Passion at the Bar. Nevertheless, as they do not know what Strifes may arise, they appear at the Hall every Day, that they may show themselves in Readiness to enter the Lists, whenever there shall be occasion for them.
'The Peaceable Lawyers are, in the first place, many of the Benchers of the several Inns of Court, who seem to be the Dignitaries of the Law, and are endowed with those Qualifications of Mind, that accomplish a Man rather for a Ruler, than a Pleader; These Men live Peaceably in their Habitations, Eating once a Day, and Dancing once a Year, for the Honour of their Respective Societies.
'Another numberless Branch of Peaceable Lawyers, are those young Men, who being placed at the Inns of Court in order to study the Laws of their Country, frequent the Play House more than Westminster Hall, and are seen in all publick Assemblies, except in a Court of Justice. I shall say nothing of those Silent and Busie Multitudes that are employed within Doors in the Drawing up of Writings and Conveyances; nor of those greater Numbers that palliate their want of Business, with a Pretence to such Chamber Practice.'
Thus we see that the legal world then very much resembled the same now. Briefless barristers were as numerous then, and this seems to have been their life: 'Young Barristers troop down to Westminster at Nine; Cheapen Cravats, and Handkerchiefs, Ogle the Semstresses, take a Whet at the Dog, or a Slice of Roast Beef at Heaven, fetch half a dozen turns in the Hall, peep in at the Common Pleas, talk over the News, and so with their Green Bags, that have as little in them as their Noddles, go home again. Summon'd by pensive Sound of Horn to rotten roasted Mutton at Twelve; Leave a Paper in their Doors to study Presidents and Cases for them all the Afternoon; may be heard of at the Devil, or some neighbouring Tavern till One in the Morning.'[570]