'Upon my Word, says my friend, I am glad we are past them, for this is one of the most ill looking Rabble, and from whom I had more apprehensions of Danger, than from any I have yet met with. 'Tis all, said I, but an Amusement, step into the Boat, sit down Watermen, row us up to Chelsea: No sooner had we put off into the middle of the Stream, but our Charon and his Assistant (being jolly Fellows) began to scatter their verbal Wildfire on every side of them, their first Attack being on a Couple of fine Ladies with a Footman in the Stern, as follows.... One of the Ladies taking Courage, pluck'd up a Female Spirit of Revenge, and racing us with the Gallantry of an Amazon made the following return' ... Well! that awful piece of river chaff, which is still popularly supposed to arouse the ire of 'bargees.' 'Who eat puppy pie under Marlow Bridge?' was milk and water compared to the fearfully strong language this lady made use of, the mildest part of her speech being, 'talk not to a Woman, you surly Whelp, for you are fit for nothing, but like the Breed you come on, to crawl upon all four, and cry Bow wow at a Bear Garden.' And so on with every boat they met.
'After rowing for some time, we had arriv'd at that Port to which we had consign'd our selves, where we quitted our Boat, and offering old Charon Three Shillings, he swore he would have a Crown; but having the printed Rates in my Pocket, I was forc'd to lug out my Oracle before the Freshwater Looby would be convinc'd of his Error; and withal told him, Had it been in London, I would have carry'd him before my Lord Mayor, and have had him punish'd, for making, contrary to Law, so unreasonable a Demand. With that he takes the Money, and putting off his Boat, gave us a notable Farewel after the following manner—viz. You're a Couple of Niggardly Sons of ——; I care not a —— for my Lord Mayor; —— the Rogue that printed that Book; —— take you for a Book-learn'd Blockhead; and confound him that taught you to read; and so we parted.'
Misson says, 'The little Boats upon the Thames, which are only for carrying of Persons, are light and pretty; some are row'd but by one Man, others by two; the former are call'd Scullers, and the latter Oars. They are reckon'd at several Thousands; but tho' there are indeed a great many, I believe the Number is exaggerated. The City of London being very long, it is a great Conveniency to be able sometimes to make Use of this Way of Carriage. You sit at your Ease upon Cushions, and have a board to lean against; but generally they have no Covering unless a Cloth, which the Watermen set up immediately, in case of Need, over a few Hoops; and sometimes you are wet to the Skin for all this. It is easy to conceive that the Oars go faster than the Sculls, and accordingly their pay is doubled. You never have any Disputes with them; for you can go to no Part either of London, or the Country above or below it, but the Rate is fix'd by Authority; every Thing is regulated and printed.'
This, then, is a sample of the social amenities as then practised on the river, and the following are the
Rates of Watermen as they are set forth by the Lord Mayor and Aldermen of the City of London.[572]
The river, too, was naturally the place for picnics and pleasure parties—although they were by no means so magnificent as the following:[573] 'I took five Barges, and the fairest kept for my Company; the other four I fill'd with Musick of all sorts, and of all sorts the best; in the first were Fiddles, in the next Theorbo, Lutes, and Voices. Flutes and such Pastoral Instruments i' th' third. Loud Musick from the fourth did pierce the Air; Each Consort vy'd by turns, which with most Melody shou'd charm our Ears. The fifth and largest of 'em all was neatly hung, not with dull Tapistry, but with green Boughs, Curiously Interlac'd to let in Air, and every Branch with Jessemins, and Orange Poesies deckt. In this the Feast was kept.'
These pleasure barges were more or less ornate, and varied from the ordinary boat, with a tilt of canvas or green boughs to very elaborately carved and gilded ones. The last remaining, in our time, were the State barges of Her Majesty, the Trinity Barge, and the Lord Mayor's and City Companies' State barges. The recollection of the water pageant, on a sunshiny Lord Mayor's day, will never be effaced from the memory of those among us who are old enough to have seen it. It was one of the prettiest sights I ever saw; and a few of these barges may still be seen, utilised at Oxford as College Club boats.
Misson says of barges, 'They give this name in England to a Sort of Pleasure Boat, at one End of which is a little Room, handsomely painted and Cover'd, with a Table in the Middle, and Benches round it; and at the other End, Seats for 8, 10, 12, 30 or 40 Rowers. There are very few Persons of Great Quality but what have their Barges, tho' they do not frequently make use of them. Their Watermen wear a Jacket of the same Colour they give for their Livery, with a pretty large Silver Badge upon their Arm, with the Nobleman's Coat of Arms emboss'd in it. These Watermen have some Privileges, as belonging to Peers; but they have no Wages, and are not domestick Servants: They live in their own Houses with their Families, and earn their Livelihood as they can. The Lord Mayor of London, and the several Companies have also their Barges, and are carry'd in them upon certain solemn occasions.'
