PREFACE.
THIS simple recital of personal haps and mishaps in perturbed Spain from the abdication of Amadeus to the entry of Don Carlos, puts forward no claim to the didactic or dogmatic. Its chief aim is to amuse. Of course, if I succeed in conveying knowledge and dispelling illusions—in Tasso's words, if I administer a pill under a coating of jam—I shall be cock-a-hoop with delight. But I warn the reader I am not an unprejudiced witness. I am passionately fond of Spain and her people. Although years have elapsed since the events dealt with occurred, I fancy the narrative will not be hackneyed, for in Spain public life repeats itself with a fidelity which is never monotonous. I do not pretend to cast the horoscope of the poor little monarch who is in the nurse's arms, but Heaven guard him! 'Twere better for him that he had been born in a Highland shieling.
Should there be much individualism in these pages, it is intentional, and to be ascribed to the instance of friends. They said, "Bother history; give us plenty of your own experiences." It is to be hoped they have not led me astray by their well-meant advice.
CONTENTS OF VOL. I.
| [CHAPTER I.] | |
| Page | |
| Which, being non-essential, treats partly of Spain,but principally of the Writer | [1-23] |
| [CHAPTER II.] | |
| The Old-Fashioned Invocation—"Them 'ere SpanishKings!"—Candidates for a Throne—En Voyage—Bordeauxand the Back-ache—An UnmannerlyAlsatian—The Patriot gets a Roland for his Oliver—SmallChange for a Hot Bath—Plan for UniversalCoinage—Daughters of Israel—The Jews Diagnosed—Acrossthe Border—The Writer is Saluted "Caballero"—BugabooSanta Cruz—Over a Brasero | [24-42] |
| [CHAPTER III.] | |
| A Make-Believe Spain—The Mountain Convoy—ATough Road to Travel—Spanish Superiority inBlasphemy—Short Essay on Oaths—The BasquePeasants—Carlism under a Cloak—How Guerilla-Fightingis Conducted—A Hyperborean Landscape—AMysterious Grandee—An Adventurous Frenchman—TheShebeen on the Summit—Armed Alsasua—BaseCoin | [43-60] |
| [CHAPTER IV.] | |
| Madrid—The Fonda and its Porter—The Puerta delSol—Postal Irregularities—Tribute to the Madrileños—TheBarber's Pronunciamiento—Anecdotes of KingAmadeus—Checkmating the Grand Dames—QueenIsabella—The Embarrassed Mr. Layard of Nineveh—TheGreat Powers Hesitate—America Goes Ahead—GeneralSickles—Mahomet and the Mountain—Republicanismamong the Troops—A Peculiar PennsylvanianDentist—Castelar under Torture—TheWriter meets one of his Sept—Politicians by Trade—Honouramong Insurgents—Alonso the Reckless | [61-91] |
| [CHAPTER V.] | |
| A Late Capital—The Gambling Mania—A FrenchRendezvous—The Duke de Fitzpepper—The Moralityof Passing Bad Money—Spanish Compliments—Menin Pickle—A Licentious Ballet—Federal Manners—Prim'sArtifice—Nouvilas Goes North—A CarlistProclamation—Don Alfonso—Midnight Oil—Castelar'sCircular | [92-112] |
| [CHAPTER VI.] | |
| Warning to Ladies—The Hotel Parliament—An Anglo-SpanishMentor—The Evil Genii of the Monarchy—TheCurses of Spain—Government and ReligionAffairs of Climate—The Carlists, Norwegians, andEnglish, all Republicans!—Notions on Heredity—TheFive Spanish Parties—The Army the Lever ofPower—The Student-Cæsar—Order versus Republic—TheChained Colours—Dorregaray's Appeal to theSoldiers—Influence of the Church—Wanted: aBenevolent Despot | [113-131] |
| [CHAPTER VII.] | |
| The Carnival—About Kissing Feet—Mummers andMasquers—The Paseo de Recoletos—The Writer istaken for Cluseret—Incongruity in Costume—ShroveTuesday—Panic on the Prado—A Fancy Ball—The"Entierro de la Sardina"—Lenten Amusements—ASpanish Mystery—"Pasion y Muerte de Jesus"—Ofthe Stage Stagey—Critical Remarks | [132-160] |
| [CHAPTER VIII.] | |
| Another Chat with Mentor—A Startling Solution ofthe Spanish Question—The Penalties of Popularity—TheRepublic another Saturn—The New CivilGovernor—The Government Bill—Outside the Palaceof the Congress—Providential Rain—Wild Rumours—FederalThreats—The Five Civil Guards—Insidethe Chamber—The Great Debate—The Two Reports—Compromise—MinorSpeechmakers—A PickwickianContention—The Division—Victory for theMinistry—The Five Civil Guards Trot to Stables | [161-182] |
| [CHAPTER IX.] | |
| The Inventions of Don Fulano de Tal—Stopping aTrain—"A Ver Fine Blaggar"—The Legend of SantaCruz—Dodging a Warrant—Outlawed—Chased byGendarmes—A Jack Sheppard Escape—The Curabecomes Cabecilla—Sleeping with an Eye Open—Exploitsand Atrocities—Dilettante Carlists inLondon—The Combat of Monreal—Ibarreta's Relics—ATale for the Marines—The Carlists Looking-up | [183-200] |
| [CHAPTER X.] | |
| Barbarism of Tauromachy—A Surreptitious Ticket—TheNovillos—Islington not Madrid—Apology forCock-Fighting—Maudlin Humanity—The Espada aPopular Idol—In the Bull-Ring—A Precious "Ster-oh"—TheTrumpets Speak—The Procession—Play ofthe Quadrille—The Defiance—"Bravo, Cucharra!"—"Bravo,Toro!"—The Blemish of the Sport—AnIndignant English Lassie | [201-224] |
| [CHAPTER XI.] | |
| The Shamrock of Erin and Olive of Spain—Hispano-HibernianRegiments—The Spanish Soldier—AnUnpopular Hidalgo—Flaw in the Harness—TheOrganization of the Army—The Guardia Civil—TheCavalry, Engineers, and Infantry—General Cordova—TheDisorganization of the Army—Mutiny inPampeluna—Officers Out of Work—Turbulent Barcelona—IrresoluteContreras—Pistolet DischargesHimself—The Madrid Garrison | [225-248] |
| [CHAPTER XII.] | |
| Luring the Reader into a Stony Desert—A Duel on theCarpet—Disappointment of the Special Correspondents—ThePeople Amuses Itself—How the BallotWorks—A Historic Sitting of the Congress—Castelar'sGreat Oration—The Glory of Spain—AboutNegro Manumission—Distrust of "Uncle Sam"—Returnof Figueras—The Permanent Committee—ALove-Feast of Politicians—The Writer OrdersWings | [249-265] |
| [CHAPTER XIII.] | |
| The Writer Turns Churlish and Quits Madrid—Sleepunder Difficulties—A Bad Dream—Santa Cruz again—OffSt. Helena!—Dissertation on Stomach Matters—AHint to British Railway Directors—"Odds, Hiltsand Blades"—A Delicate Little Gentleman is Curious—The"Tierra Deleitosa"—That Butcher again | [266-281] |
| [CHAPTER XIV.] | |
| Delectable Seville—Don Juan Scapegrace—The Womenin Black—In the Triana Suburb—The City of theSeven Sleepers—Guide-Book Boredom—Romanceand Reality—The Prosaic Manchester Man—KingFerdinand Puzzling the Judges—Mortification byProxy—Some Notable Treasures—Papers and Politics—ThePorcelain Factory—"The Lazy Andalusiennes"—AboutCigars—The Gipsy Dance | [282-311] |
ROMANTIC SPAIN.
CHAPTER I.
Which, being non-essential, treats partly of Spain, but principally of the Writer.
THE sun was shining with a Spanish lustre—a lustre as of glowing sarcasm—seeing that on that very day a Fire-Worshipper, Dadabhai Naoroji, was over-shadowed in his attempt to become a Member of Parliament for Holborn. The sun, I repeat, was shining with a Spanish lustre while the inquisition was being held. The tribunal was in the open air, under the mid plane-tree in Camberwell Green, the trimmest public garden in London. Conscience was the inquisitor, and the charge I had brought against myself was that of harbouring a vagrom spirit. I should have been born in a gipsy caravan or under a Bedaween's tent. Nature intended me to have become a traveller, a showman, or a knight-errant; and had Nature been properly seconded, I should have been doing something Burnabyish, Barnumesque, or Quixotic this afternoon, instead of sitting down on a bench between a tremulous old man in almshouse livery and a small boy fanning himself with a cap. Yes; I fear I must plead guilty. I am possessed by a demon of unrest; my soul chafes at inaction, calls aloud for excitement. Had I the ordering of my own fortune I should spread the white wings of a yacht to woo the faint wind (but it may be blowing freshly off the Foreland), or should vault on the back of a neighing barb with bushy mane and tail. But I am Ixion-lashed to the wheel of duty, leg-hampered by the log of necessity.