Married Life: A Comedy, in Three Acts

by John Baldwin Buckstone

Mrs. Y. I’m completely miserable—miserable.

Mrs. Cod. I went home, but Coddle never came near the house; he has absconded, no doubt; I did not close my eyes all night.

Mrs. Dove. I have been in a state of perfect distraction since my unhappy disagreement, with Henry—where can he have gone?

Mrs. Y. I would not go to my aunt—I changed my mind, called on Mrs. Dismal and sat up with her, I am determined not to return home till Frederick fetches me; it was Uncle Tolloday that gave me the thimble.

Mrs. Dis. If you had not come to me, Mrs. Y., I should have died before morning; as it is, Mr. D’s. cruel indifference has worn me to a shade.

Mrs. Cod. Indifference! I am sure the apathy of my husband was never equalled; I have flirted with a dozen young men in one evening, to excite him to a little harmless jealousy, but in vain; and I really think, he would neither have stirred, nor cared, had I eloped with three captains at once. And now to discover that he has another wife! Oh, if I could see him again—I think I should assassinate him! a monster! a—oh!—(Sobbing.)

Mrs. Dis. Just like my Dismal; when we go into company, he always gets as far away from me as he can—never notices me—never smiles at me—never looks as if he loved me. I—I—I am a very ill-used woman.—(Sobbing.)

Mrs. Y. (Sobbing.)—Don’t weep, Mrs. Dismal; don’t weep; I wont, if—if—I break my heart. Y. sha’n’t say that I ever dropped a tear at his absence—an aggravating creature; though I could be comfortable with him, if he would not contradict me in every thing I say—and do—and—and—oh!—(Crying.)

Mrs. Dove. (Sobbing.)—Oh, Henry!—Once reconciled, I will never correct you again; you may select your own words from any dictionary you may think proper.