[SCENE I.]—An apartment at MR. NIGGLE’S. A sideboard, with cupboard, on the U.E.R. Window, with curtains, on the F.E.L. A round table, L., chairs, &c.
MISS SNARE discovered seated at table, L., looking over the books, &c.
Miss Sna. (Reading.) “The Young Man’s best Companion”—a very excellent book for youth; but at Mr. Niggle’s age, he ought to possess his best companion in a devoted and amiable wife; heigho! What a treasure I should be to any man that could properly understand me. (Takes up another book.) “The Epistles of Abelard and Heloise.” I am pleased to see this book on his table, it proves that he possesses a taste for sentiment of the highest order, and can admire devotedness and passion under the most trying circumstances. “The Newgate Calender.” Bless the man, what can induce him to have such a book as this in his house; surely he can have no sympathy with housebreakers and assassins? I must look to this: should I ever be the mistress here, some of these volumes must be removed—this furniture too—very well for a bachelor; but when he is married, a change must be made. And those curtains, how slovenly they are put up. Ah, any one can discover the want of a presiding female hand in a bachelor’s house—where is the neatness, the order, and the good taste that prevails in all the arrangements, where the master of the house is a married man. If ever I am Mrs. Niggle, down shall come those curtains, away shall go that sideboard, off shall go those chairs, and as for this table—let me look at its legs——(Lifts up the cover and examines the legs of it.)
[DAMPER peeps in, F.E.L.
Dam. Hollo! hollo!
Miss Sna. Oh! how you frightened me.
Dam. It’s a very suspicious thing when an old maid examines a bachelor’s furniture.
Miss Sna. Good morning, Mr. Damper, I was merely observing Mr. Niggle’s table legs.
Dam. (L.) Ah! when an old maid finds herself on her own last legs, ’tis time she should observe those of other people.