"Then what am I to dae? When the bodies come to the door, I'm to say, 'His lordship's compliments, but his lordship's busy keeping the Sabbath in his upper chamber, and if ye will come back the morn he'll look into your claims.' 'Faith, it's awfu' like auld Sanders Blackett, the lawyer at Peebles, when I gaed to him seeking the law o' the miller o' Rachan. It was about nine o'clock yae winter's nicht when I got there, and Sanders was at supper. He stappit his heid oot o' the window and, says he, 'Gang awa', my man, and come back the morn. I'm busy takin' the books.' But I saw by the een o' him that he was daein' nae siccan thing. 'Oh,' says I, 'if ye ca' kippered saumon and schnapps the books, I'm content. I'll just come in and help ye to tak them tae.' But he says verra angry, 'Go away, ye impious man, lest the judgment of Heaven light upon you. I've godly Maister Clovenclaws assisting me in the solemn ordinance.' 'Awa' wi' your Clovenclaws,' says I, 'I've come ten mile to speak wi' ye, and I'll no gang hame wi'oot it.' But I was just thinkin' I would have to gang back after a', when a voice comes frae the inside, 'Sanders, ye limb o' the deil, whaur's the sugar?' I kenned Maister Clovenclaws' voice ower weel, so Sanders begins to think that it wadna dae to let it be telled a' ower the toun that him and the minister had been birling at the wine thegither. So 'Come in, Maister Plenderleith,' says he verra cannily, and in I gaed, and sic a nicht's drinking I never saw. I put Sanders in his bed, honest man, about twae o'clock i' the morning, and syne Clovenclaws and me gaed at it till daylicht. I wantit to see the body below the table afore I gaed, and he wantit to see me, so we sat at it till I was fain to drap for very decency's sake. So what does the man dae but lift me on his shouther and walk as straucht ower to the manse as if he were new oot o' his bed; and there he gied me some guid advice about no presumin' to contend wi' my superiors, and let me oot at a back door. 'Faith, it was an awfu' time."
"You will say to them that I am busy with other work, and that I will be glad to see them to-morrow about the matter they know of. Most like they will go away quietly, and if they do not it will be the worse for their own skins. You take my meaning?"
"I'll dae your orders, sir, to the letter," said Nicol, and I was well aware that he would.
I got my books out and set to work to read the gospel of John in Greek for my spiritual benefit, but I made little speed. This was mainly the fault of Nicol, who every few minutes came into the little room where I sat, on some feigned errand. I soon divined the reason, for the same chamber contained a great window, whence one might view the whole length of the narrow street wherein the house was situate, and even some little portion of the great Breedestraat at the head. It was plain that my servant was not a little concerned on my account.
"Are ye sure that your honour's guid wi' the small-swird?" he asked mournfully. "If this room were a wee bit braider and the day no what it is I micht gie ye a lesson."
I did not know whether to laugh or to be angry. "Why, you rascal," I cried, "do you know anything of these matters? There are many better swordsmen than I in the world, but I think I am more than a match for you."
"Weel," said Nicol modestly, "I've gien some folk a gey fricht wi' the swird, but let that be. I'll be blithe if ye get the better o' him and a waefu' man I'll be if he kills ye. Lord, what 'll I dae? I'll hae to become a sodger in this heathen land, or soom hame, whilk is a thing I am no capable o'." And he began to sing with a great affectation of grief:
The craw killed the pussie O,
The craw killed the pussie O,
The wee bit kittlin' sat and grat
In Jennie's wee bit hoosie O.
—in which elegant rhyme the reader will observe that my cousin stood for the crow, I for the pussie, and my servant for the kittlin'.
I laughed; but it is not seemly to stand by while your own servant sings a song which compares you to a cat, so I straightway flung a Greek lexicon at his head, and bade him leave the room. I much regretted the act, for it was my only copy of the book, Master Struybroek's, and the best obtainable, and by the fall some leaves came out, and one, [Greek: polypenthés] to [Greek: polypous], has not been renewed to this day.