7. His talk in his sickness with his companions, would be of the World, as Trades, Houses, Lands, great Men, great Titles, great places, outward Prosperity, or outward Adversity, or some such carnal thing.
By all which I conclude, that he did not desire a sence and sight of his sin, that he might repent and be saved.
Atten. It must needs be so as you say, if these things be true that you have asserted of him. And I do the rather believe them, because I think you dare not tell a lie of the dead.
Wise. I was one of them that went to him, and that beheld his carriage and manner of way, and this is a true relation of it that I have given you.
Atten. I am satisfied. But pray if you can, shew me now by the Word, what sentence of God doth pass upon such men?
Wise. Why, the man that is thus averse to repentance, that desires not to hear of his sins, that he might repent and be saved; is said to be a man that saith unto God, Depart from me, for I desire not the knowledge of thy wayes. [163a] He is a man that sayes in his heart and with his actions, I have loved strangers, (sins) and after them I will goe. He is a man that shuts his eyes, stops his ears, and that turneth his spirit against God. Yea he is the man that is at enmity with God, and that abhorres him with his soul. [163b]
Atten. What other signe can you give me that Mr. Badman died without repentance?
Wise. Why, he did never heartily cry to God for mercy all the time of his affliction. [163c] True, when sinking fits, stitches, or pains took hold upon him, then he would say as other carnal men use to do, Lord help me, Lord strengthen me, Lord deliver me, and the like: But to cry to God for mercy, that he did not, but lay, as I hinted before, as if he never had sinned.
Atten. That is another bad sign indeed; for crying to God for mercy, is one of the first signs of repentance. When Paul lay repenting of his sin, upon his bed, the Holy Ghost said of him, Behold he prayes. [163d] But he that hath not the first signs of repentance, ’tis a sign he hath none of the other, and so indeed none at all. I do not say, but there may be crying, where there may be no sign of repentance. They cryed, says David, to the Lord, but he answered them not; [163e] but that he would have done, if their cry had been the fruit of repentance. But, I say, if men may cry, and yet have no repentance, be sure, they have none, that cry not at all. It is said in Job, They cry not when he bindeth them; [163f] that is, because they have no repentance; no repentance, no cryes; false repentance, false cryes; true repentance, true cryes.
Wise. I know that it is as possible for a man to forbear crying that hath repentance, as it is for a man to forbear groaning that feeleth deadly pain. He that looketh into the Book of Psalms, (where repentance is most lively set forth even in its true and proper effects,) shall there find, that crying, strong crying, hearty crying, great crying, and uncessant crying, hath been the fruits of repentance: (But none of this had this Mr. Badman, therefore he dyed in his sins.)