CHR. Yes, but greatly against my will; especially my inward and carnal cogitations, with which all my countrymen, as well as myself, were delighted; but now all those things are my grief; and might I but choose mine own things,
Christian's choice
I would choose never to think of those things more; but when I would be doing of that which is best, that which is worst is with me. [Rom 7:16-19]
{123} PRUD. Do you not find sometimes, as if those things were vanquished, which at other times are your perplexity?
Christian's golden hours
CHR. Yes, but that is seldom; but they are to me golden hours in which such things happen to me.
PRUD. Can you remember by what means you find your annoyances, at times, as if they were vanquished?
CHR. Yes, when I think what I saw at the cross, that will do it; and when I look upon my broidered coat, that will do it; also when I look into the roll that I carry in my bosom, that will do it; and when my thoughts wax warm about whither I am going, that will do it.
{124} PRUD. And what is it that makes you so desirous to go to Mount Zion?
CHR. Why, there I hope to see him alive that did hang dead on the cross; and there I hope to be rid of all those things that to this day are in me an annoyance to me; there, they say, there is no death; and there I shall dwell with such company as I like best. [Isa. 25:8; Rev. 21:4] For, to tell you truth, I love him, because I was by him eased of my burden; and I am weary of my inward sickness. I would fain be where I shall die no more, and with the company that shall continually cry, "Holy, Holy, Holy!"