Third, Thou must be always humble and meek among them, as also grave and gracious; not light and frothy, but by thy words and carriage ministering 'grace to the hearers' (Eph 4:29). Thus also Job honoured God among his neighbours (Job 29:6-12).
Fourth, Thy wisdom will be, rightly to discountenance sin, and to reprove thy neighbour for the same (Lev 19:17), denying thyself in some things, for the preventing an injury to thy neighbour, that thou mayest please him for his edification (Rom 15:2).
Fifth, If thou wouldest be a good neighbour, take heed of thy tongue upon two accounts.
1. That thou with it give no offensive language to thy neighbour, to the provoking of him to anger. Bear much, put up wrongs, and say little: 'It is an honour for a man to cease from strife: but every fool will be meddling' (Prov 20: 3). And again, 'He loveth transgression that loveth strife' (Prov 17:19).
2. And as thou shouldest take heed that thou be not the original of contention and anger, so also take heed that thou be not an instrument to beget it between parties, by tale-bearing and a gossiping spirit: 'He that passeth by, and meddleth with strife belonging not to him, is like one that taketh a dog by the ears. As coals are to burning coals, and wood to fire; so is a contentious man to kindle strife' (Prov 26:17-21). I do observe two things very odious in many professors; the one is a head-strong and stiff-necked spirit, that will have its own way; and the other is, a great deal of tattling and talk about religion, and but a very little, if anything, of those Christian deeds that carry in them the cross of a Christian in the doing thereof, and profit to my neighbour.
(1.) When I say a head-strong and stiff-necked spirit, I mean, they are for pleasing themselves and their own fancies, in things of no weight, though their so doing be as the very slaughter-knife to the weak conscience of a brother or neighbour. Now this is base. A Christian, in all such things as intrench not the matters of faith and worship, should be full of self-denial, and seek to please others rather than themselves; 'Give none offence—to the Jews, nor to the 18 Greeks, nor to the church of God:—not seeking mine own profit, but the profit of many, that they may be saved' (1 Cor 10:32, 33).
(2.) And the second is as bad, to wit, when professors are great prattlers and talkers, and disputers, but do little of anything that bespeaketh love to the poor, or self-denial in outward things. Some people think religion is made up of words; a very wide mistake! Words without deeds is but a half-faced religion: 'Pure religion, and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world' (James 1:27). Again, 'If a brother or sister be naked, and destitute of daily food, and one of you say unto them, Depart in peace, be warmed and filled,' which are very fine words, yet if you 'give them not those things that are needful to the body, what doth it profit?' (James 2:15, 16).
[Sins which interfere with the duties of Christian Brotherhood and
Civil Neighbourhood.]
Now then, before I go any farther, I will here take an occasion to touch a little upon those sins that are so rife in many professors in this day: and they are, covetousness, pride, and uncleanness. I would speak a word to them in this place, the rather because they are they which spoil both Christian brotherhood, and civil neighbourhood, in too great a measure.